Friday, January 25, 2008

Is Movie Monsters Still Scary?

Well, Time Magazine, Newsweek, or whichever inane publication drew the short straw and was forced to print that one, I think the box office clearly shows that, not only ARE they still scary, but quite profitable at that! Yes, something called Cloverfield is the hot new D-Wars on the block, apparently kinduva Godzilla remake, but with hot young Gen-Y types to bring some gravitas to the otherwise inane proceedings. Oh, but why do I have to be so negative? The real story of course is behind the scenes, with "Lost" scripter Drew Goddard, still a relatively young fella, and the rather old old-timer Matt Reeves, but he's a friend of J.J. Abrams so we can't badmouth him too much. Good job, guys, but don't quit your day job just yet. Maybe you can direct a couple episodes of Lost, Matt!
...oh crap. Lost track of time. This one might take a couple days. 27 Dresses? Never heard of it. Must've advertised it on the Lifetime Network or something. Ah, yes. The old Hollywood Humility trick, so Katherine Heigl's name is somewhere in the middle amongst the nobodies. ..something like that. The only other new one is Mad Money, debuting at #8. For some reason, probably because I'm a chauvinistic pig, but Diane Keaton is not a reason I go to the movies. Neither is Queen Latifah. On the guy side, Jason Schwartzman. For some reason, if Jason Schwartzman is in a movie, I probably have little to no interest in it. Especially if he's the star. If he's the only thing in the movie, why would I want to go and pay a $9 cover charge to go see that? Jack Nicholson, too. I ain't seeing The Bucket List. Even Rob Reiner didn't see it!
Sorry folks, I'm a little cranky tonight. I think it's the incense. For some reason, incense is a little too powerful for me. I was burning two sticks because they were stuck together; hopefully my whole apartment doesn't smell like switchgrass now. A brief Shout Out to Alvin and the Chipmunks and National Treasure 2, for though they may be on the decline, they both racked up 200 million at the Box Office. Good show, guys! Finally, Jason Lee has a hit! Will Earl ever really be the same? Then of course, there's I Am Legend. You sure are, Will. See you next year, whatever your next project is. Wild Wild West 2? Hah! Just kidding...

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