Thursday, January 31, 2008

Goodbye Spartans, Hello Oscars!

Yeah, I know. Everyone's waiting for my Oscar picks, aren't you? Well, considering the drubbing I took last year in the office pool, I'm going to bide my time a little bit before I make my predictions. Meantime, back to the messy bizness of looking at the real movie gold, AKA the Top 10 at the Box Office.

And let's just start right at the top. #1 is the latest from the hottest comedy duo since Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio, and these boys are Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg. Good news: it's made $18.5 million at the box office. Bad news: it's already made the IMDb Bottom 100!!!! Well, this wasn't meant for the critics, was it, guys?
At #2, it's Mother Truckin' RAMBO!!! Yeah, that's right, I was trying to keep this blog kid-friendly. Just remember, parents, they're the ones that do all the swearing! What do you think they're doing on the school bus all day? It ain't all Napoleon Dynamite time, I can tell you that!
All I know is, thank God Sly got to direct it himself this time. Too bad he didn't release it on Christmas Day so it could qualify for the Oscars. Oh well. Missed opportunities on the grass, alas.
At #3 it's 27 Dresses. Don't care. Eat that, New York chapter of NOW! heh heh...
#4 brings us Cloverfield. Oh, what a drop. But, on the other hand, it did make back its catering budget!
At #5 it's Untraceable. Diane Lane continues her streak as a god damn Movie Star! And she didn't even win an Oscar, did she? She's making out a little better than Oscar Winner Kim Basinger, for example. ...oh yeah, she was nominated for Unfaithful. And who won that year? Nicole Kidman in The Hours? Who saw that? Nobody, that's who!
As for 6 to 10, well, it's just too depressing to even contemplate. Mad Money's almost gone, though, so that's good. I think this is the first time There Will Be Blood got onto the top 10. Someone else look that up, huh? But it's different now, because it and NCFOM BOTH have 8 Oscar noms! Personally, I hope NCFOM kicks ass all over that stage on Feb. 24th. I'm sure TWBB's a good movie and all, but it ain't gonna stay at #15 forever. Because, that's what NCFOM did! And now it's at #31, currently. At least, Daniel-Day Lewis is up for Best Lead Actor, while Chigurh is up for Best Supporting Actor, and I'm pretty sure that's a lock. Someone take me to Vegas, will ya? TWBB's got a nom for Art Direction, while NCFOM's got one for Best Sound. Otherwise, in the other five they're going head-to-head. It'll be interesting to see how it all turns out. All I know is, don't go up against Big Oil. It doesn't pay come Oscar time.

All right, let's get outta here. Peace out. :O) (Dagwood?)

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