Sunday, November 23, 2008

Oh, Girls of Trūe, will you marry me?

Because of the new Bond movie, I had to read about the Bond Girls and their proud tradition, despite what Garth Brooks thinks. Then again, how about those Trūe Girls, huh? Do they live up to Maxim's high standards of quality or what? Or are they just under the radar enough that you might actually think you're going to meet someone like them by logging into that website? Suck on that, eHarmony and match! Oh, well. See, that's what I get for using Yahoo! mail. Oh, but I've said too much already. Let's dig into this week's Box Office.
Might as well start at #1. Man, I thought for sure Bolt might pull out a first place finish. Nope, only Pixar can pull that off. Everything old is older again. No, the tweens and teens carried the day with Twilight, the latest spin on vampires. I mean, what if your boyfriend is a vampire? He's not Jewish, is he? But he does have that stand-offish Eastern Bloc vibe about him. ...oh, never mind. He's British. And apparently he's done what even Harry Potter himself hasn't done yet: be in ANOTHER box office blockbuster! Surely this opening justifies a Twilight 2? But we'll get into that next week, I'm sure.
Meanwhile, for now, Bond 22: Qo'S hangs tough at #2, but will probably slip to 3 after the recount, trading places with Bolt. That's the kind of thing Disney would want to pull... or maybe Travolta will suddenly feel the urge to buy a half million dollars worth of tickets? That would do it!
At #4, the Disney/Pixar vs. Dreamworks/PDI gangsta rap battle rages on with Madagascar 2: I like to Move It Move It, this week's top cume with 137 million IN DA HOUSE BANK. I wonder if the studio was considering a direct to video release like with Toy Story 2? Hmmm! And rounding out the top 5, far surpassing even the filmmaker's expectations, it's Role Models. Sorry, Wain, but the Baxter still thinks you're a dick and he's not working with you anymore. No matter how much more money this turkey makes. You know what you did.
And now, my favourite part of the box office, numeros 6 thru 10. Statistically speaking, Changeling at #6 is still going very strong. Must be a limited release. As long as it hangs in there longer than Zack and Miri, right, Clint? I think it's still doing better than Taking Lives or Beyond Borders, anywho. Probably better than A Mighty Heart, but who's keeping track, right??
At 7, HSM3. Oh, more Disney disappointment. Feel sorry for them, folks. And go to and clap your hands. ...oh wait, it's a re-direct. Better just click the words instead.
#8, Z&M - see #6. At #9 it's this week's third and final newbie, The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. The police actually are using this as a sting operation to try and catch wanted pedophiles. Good luck, troops!
And finally at #10, last but certainly not least, The Secret Life of Bees. Also showing a strong statistical performance. Six weeks on the top 10! Not bad at all. I have a feeling we'll hear from those crazy filmmakers again soon, and I don't mean a postcard. Still, Paul Bettany misses his Russell Crowe. They've made two big-ass movies together; third, please? Try and write a meaty enough role for Russ in the sequel, huh?

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