Tuesday, April 07, 2015

b.o. 4-12-15... holy crap! My taxes!

Let's see how well Furious 7 does in its second week!  Well, according to my highly-detailed records, Furious 6 hung in there for six weeks!  Two weeks at #1.  Of course, Furious 6 cost $160 million to make... dayamn.  Think about that!  That's a very, very expensive sixth installment of a franchise.  In contrast, Saw VI cost only $11 millionFriday the 13th Part VI cost... dude, someone needs to fix the IMDb Connections pages of the various Friday the 13th films.  Then again, it's not a one man job.  Plus, the Nightmare on Elm Street films are all tangled up in there too.  Kinda ridiculous.  I thought they were first joined at the hip in 2003.  Anyway, the sixth installment of Friday the 13th cost only 3 million dollars, according to said IMDb.  The point being, they'd turn the Fast and Furious series into a soap opera if it weren't so damn cost prohibitive.  Also, action scenes take longer to plan out than soap operas.  I mean, if they're to be done well.  Soap operas have different standards of quality.  It's almost a different universe, populated by people pretty enough to be on television, but not pretty enough for feature films.  Yes, there are exceptions.

(Sunday proper) Well, this is kinda interesting!  Both of the debuts from last week, Furious 7 and Woman in Gold stay put at where they were in the top 10, with Furious 7 staying at #1, and Woman staying at #7.  Probably for the best in the latter case.  Meanwhile, debuting at #3 is Nicholas Sparks' latest: a little indie called The Longest Ride.  Reminds me of that time about 20 years ago now when I called up the local video store and asked about Fargo.  The clerk on the phone asked me "...is that an adult film?"  Apparently, the titles of adult films made all the difference in the world back then.  Now, people don't usually pay attention to who's directing the latest Nicholas Sparks tripe-fest, so I decided to check it out.  Turns out, it's a black dude named George Tillman Jr.!  What the deuce?  Just goes to show you how far we've come as Americans, perhaps how much farther we have yet to go, but I say it's a good sign when a black dude can direct a Nicholas Sparks love fest in his sleep.  After all, Nicholas Sparks novels are for everybody!
So while Sparks is back on top of his game, the icons of yesteryear have taken a turn for the worse.  Al Pacino's latest, called Danny Collins, debuts at #9 after a rather extensive TV ad carpet bombing.  Sure, it seems down for the count now, but wait three months, and you'll be able to buy it in a two-pack at Costco with Michael Keaton's Jack Frost.  Kinda similar, right?  Down-on-their-luck rock stars... never mind.  As for While We're Young, well, I guess the American movie-going public decided they'd rather watch it while they're old... if that.  Maybe if we're allowed to sleep through it.

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