Thursday, April 02, 2015

Short Reviews - April 2015

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein -Mitt Romney's favourite Laurel and Hardy film

Beautiful Creatures - With Margo Martindale as the Ugly Duckling

Being There - Okay, I confess.  I'm obsessed with Basketball Jones now.  Kinda hard to believe that it's best known for being in this movie.  Go figure.

Better Call Saul season finale - Wow!  I can understand how all our Better Call Sauls got deleted from the DVR, but they're not in the Deleted Recordings file!  That's cold.  Anyway, two thoughts: 1) I was hoping they wouldn't go for the South Park-ish cheap soft serve joke, but it fits with the character, arguably.  And 2) it's probably been done somewhere else before, but there was something poignant about Slippin' Jimmy's fat friend's last dying words being "This was the greatest week of my life."  Maybe these economists are on to something.  The Hedonic model!  Make things fun!  Sheryl Crow and the other girls just want to have some fun!

Charade - Where's the MONEY, Cary-Grant-ski?

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - ...in April on TV?  Whatever.  Personally, I think the cinematography's far too serious and moody for such a raucous and high-spirited comedy, but what do I know

Copycat - I'm just listening to it from the other room, and... really?  A car alarm as an instrument of psychological torture?  I guess it could work!

Dirty Dancing - So the hot meme trending on the social media tubes right now is: which dead movie star would you resurrect for one last movie?  The finite list of choices we get are: Heath Ledger, P. S. Hoffman, Brittany Murphy, Michael Clarke Duncan, Patrick Swayze, Marilyn Monroe, Paul Walker, Bruce Lee, Ryan Dunn, Rob(b)in Williams, Bernie Mac, and Cory Monteith.  So, a couple nods to this generation.  Now, if I were real good, I'd come up with films for all of the listed stars.  But really, who wouldn't want to see the real sequel to Dirty Dancing?  Not that Havana Nights crap, but Patrick alive and kicking, still married to Jennifer Grey and her new nose?  Oh, the stories they could tell!  Of course, judging from the body of work of screenwriter extraordinaire Eleanor Bergstein, it'd probably be nothing but generalized clich├ęs.  But who knows?  Maybe that's just her life!

Effie Gray - Shocking, Emma Thompson!  You kiss your grandchildren with that potty mouth?

The Expendables 3 - Welp, we just watched it... a slight improvement over the second one, but I dunno.  The explosions looked too fake, methinks.  As an action fan, I'm used to the bigger carbon footprints of old

Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief - Scientology is probably the religion that the capitalist system ultimately deserves, but I still believe that its every building should be razed to the ground with something less powerful than those atom bombs they use to blow up volcanoes.  A miscarriage of justice.

"Grey's Anatomy" - I don't normally like to put TV shows in these things, but I've just been handed an important Facebook alert, telling me that, and I'll quote it verbatim here... "ABC broadcasts episode written by series creator Shonda Rhimes."  And, oh, I dunno.  Somehow it doesn't rise to the level of Judd Apatow's Simpsons episodes, but whatever.  Someone paid a lot of money for that "news" blurb, that's the main thing.

Hot Pursuit (2015) - The trailers make it look like a dumb chase movie.  I just hope it's not a fake dumb chase movie

The Longest Ride - Some big shot at Yahoo ranked all the Nicholas Sparks adaptations from 1 to 10... but I couldn't tell if 10 was the best or the worst.  The Longest Ride, judging from the trailers, probably has the best male torso!  I have an idea for some wise-ass grad student.  Try and find a way to do like Kurt Vonnegut's Cinderella thing, and turn all of Sparks' ten movies into curves, and show us all how close they are to each other.

Now You See Me - With Joan Riegert as Casino Guest (uncredited)

One Man's Way - Featuring the back of Tom Skerritt's head... the part I saw, anyway

Paul Blart 2 - As long as it doesn't cross paths with Pixels, then I'm happy

Pitch Perfect 2 - Oh boy!  I can't wait!  How's Rebel Wilson going to debase herself on a stripper pole now?

The Ridiculous Six (6) - Because even Adam Sandler gets tired of making his usual flavour of crap.  Guess he should've gone with Pawnee instead of Apache.  And Choctaw and Navajo.

True Story - Oh, Jonah Hill and James Franco are just trying to scare me... aren't they?

The V.I.P.s - Now I know where A Clockwork Orange got its (credits) font from.

The Whales of August - Shyeah, more like late November, early December, if you catch my drift!

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