Saturday, August 01, 2015

Short Reviews - August 2015

An American Affair - LEAVE MARILYN ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Animal Crackers (2016) - Well, FIRST of all... there's ONLY ONE Animal Crackers... THAT one.  And second... SEE POINT ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Armed and Dangerous - Speaking of films that push their ratings... man!  This really pushes the PG-13 to the wall!  Particularly the adult bookstore sequence.

"Blunt Talk" - Part Daily Show, part thinly-veiled life story of Piers Morgan... or maybe Richard Quest.  Or a combo of both!

Body Chemistry II: Voice of a Stranger - I just saw on CNN that they're going to show a movie / documentary about Morton Downey Jr.  Well, that's how the chips fall sometimes... what, no movie about Rush Limbaugh?  But that's the Far Right for you: they fell in love with Morton, but ended up marrying Limbaugh.  I believe the movie / documentary on CNN is called Evocateur... sorry, got that wrong.  It's spelled √Čvocateur: The Morton Downey Jr. Movie... boy!  What's the deal with that capital 'E'?  What is that, French?  Well, gotta give 'em a little credit: they gave us our bad American diet with them Freedom Fries!  Anyway, for those of you who can't wait to see Evocateur on CNN, there's always Morton Downey Jr. in Body Chemistry 2: The Smell of a Stranger.  I believe this is the one where he tells a flustered young woman, "I don't give a flying f_____ up a running squirrel's ass about..." ...well, I can't remember what it was that he didn't give a flying ---- about.  The line's just that good.  You know, like "What did he know and when did he know it?" ...of course, there's no beating Morton's character name in Palmer's Pick Up.

Born to Dance - With Eleanor Powell as Kristen Wiig

Bravetown - With Lucas Till as Josh Hartnett... I mean, Harvest.  Josh Harvest.

Day for Night - Apparently, this is one of Jacqueline Bisset's favourite roles.  And I think I know the exact scene, too: when she realizes that the script now contains something she said in real life, and she goes "Son of a...."

For Those Who Think Young - ...Pepsi?

Hitman: Agent 47 - Heh heh heh... oh wait. "420" is the fun number.  Phooey.

Little Murders - I'm hooked on the Alan Arkin scene anew... dayamn!  Gordon Willis?  This must be one of the first things he did!  Good training for the Godfather movies in a way; I'll bet the filming of Little Murders felt much, much longer.

Love the Coopers - Ed Helms is now officially over-exposed.

The Maze Runner: The Death Cure - This will be the third installment of this The Maze Runner film series.  For me, it begs the question: how badly does the yet-to-be-released second installment have to do in order for them to shut down production on this third one?

No Escape (2015) - First of all, there's only ONE No Escape ... the 1994 one with Ray Liotta.  And second... Owen Wilson in a dramatic role?  No.  Can't accept it.  Okay, sure, he's done serious drama before... Marley and Me, for example.  Also, that thing from the director of Grosse Pointe Blank, where said director decided then and there to leave the biz completely... The Big Bounce!  That's it.  Wait a minute... Owen's character in that is named... Jack Ryan?

The Razor's Edge (1946) - Just watched some of it.  How many of Tyrone Power's lines had to be redubbed?  Good Lourdes!  Are all his films like that?  Don't get me wrong, it's a fine voice and all... oops, I mean Herbert Marshall.  He plays the author, W. Somerset Maugham.  So I guess this would be a good triple bill with Crash (1996) and Antwone Fisher in that regard.

"The Richard Pryor Show" - With Allegra Allison, who now sits on the West Hollywood Historic Preservation Commission.  Well, after working with Richard Pryor and living to tell the tale, I guess preservation is a concept that one would think about quite often!

Somebody Up There Likes Me - Well, that somebody sure doesn't seem to be programming the Turner Classic Movies channel!  Oh, s'z'nap!

The Split (1968) - With Jack Klugman as Franz Kafka... I mean, Harry Kifka.  Must be Finnish.

That's My Boy - Oh, Yahoo! Movies so went there.  Well, personally, I don't think that having your kids in your movie with you is a good thing.  Besides!  That's My Boy probably shouldn't count, since mother and daughter are simply playing younger and older versions of the same character!  Also, was Demi Moore so busy that she couldn't help out young Rumer Willis, and appear in The House Bunny?

The Visit - M. Night Shyamalan's Latest Crap-a-Thon

A Walk in the Woods - Well, I hate to say it... but this probably won't be a walk to remember.  I'm sorry, but the trailers make it look like Robert Redford in ... The Great Outdoors?

We Are Your Friends - This film is about a D.J.  Now, I don't know much about D.J.s these days, except that they don't seem to be cooped up in radio stations anymore.  The connotation is that they're in clubs and spinning records, and that if you're an attractive female, you can be a successful D.J.  But if I remember correctly, John Cusack was a D.J. in High Fidelity, but somehow the story came with a little more heft, and some rather keen observations about the human condition.  In the case of We Are Your Friends, well... if Josh Duhamel can still make a movie like ... oh, wait.  Maybe he can't.  But Zac's still got at least ten years, if not more.... Safe Haven!  That's it!  I mean, look at that poster.  Lucky bastid.

Words and Pictures - Get a load of this plot synopsis.  It's The Competition all over again.  Two teachers start a competition at their school in which students decide whether words or pictures are more important.  As a semi-professional blogger, I'm here to tell you that wodrs are way, way more importent!

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