Sunday, September 18, 2016

Hey SULLY!!!!!!

Well, that's kinda nice!  It's been a while since a movie like Sully was #1 for two weeks in a row.  But the slow march of the debuts continues unabated, so let's get to that.
First, an HD reincarnation of Blair Witch debuted strong at #2... and by strong, I mean just under 10 million dollars.  A lot of money to the likes of you and I, but a mere pittance in Hollywood terms.  How's that supposed to pay the bills?  Guffaw!  Anyway, you thought the camera was shaky in the first Blair Witch, well... imagine how streaky things will look now!  Maybe they used one of those hot Red cameras, or whatever the hell they are.  Who knows.  To the ASC, I say... be careful on those pan shots.  Not quite there yet.
In other nostalgia news, the long anticipated third installment of the Bridget Jones saga debuted this weekend, and it's called Bridget Jones's Baby.  Yes, Renée Zellweger is back and better than ever.  Tanned, rested, and the skin on her face is a little stretched out, but no matter.  Everyone's favourite bawdy Brit babe is back... at least until the new Ab Fab movie comes out... or maybe that bombed already, who knows.
The last debut this week is Oliver Stone's Snowden about Edward Snowden, another one of those heroes of the people, enemies of the CIA.  Well, that's what the CIA gets for using contractors.  They should know better than that.  They're the CIA!  The 'I' stands for INTELLIGENCE, for God's sake!  Hard to say if this will be another one of Oliver Stone's timeless classics, or just his latest project after the usual director's two year hiatus.  But Joseph Gordon-Levitt seems to be checking off his bucket list of big film directors he's always wanted to work with.  There's Bob Zemeckis, of course.  Leonard Nimoy?  Been there, done that.  Stephen Sommers, check.  Spike Lee, check.  The only one left is, of course, Spielberg himself.  Might be tricky, though... maybe he could lobby to be the new Mutt Williams.  No one will mind.  Even Shia himself won't mind, really.
...oh, right!  Lincoln!  There's nothing left to do then!

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