Monday, May 29, 2017
Meanwhile, I feel a little sorry for Melania right now. I mean, for God's sake! Can't ANYONE ELSE ON THIS PLANET take her modeling career seriously? She wore that pussy dress in front of Clinton, for God's sake! What more do people want? Well, Trump wants to hold her hand. Apparently, she's not into that whole hand holding scene right now. She makes like she has to brush her hair out of her eyes when Trump goes in for the hand, and what does she get? Why, a patronizing pat on the glutes, of course! Man, first lady-ing is a bitch.
Okay, I feel a little better... well, not really. But let's try to ignore our falling esteem in the eyes of the world for the moment and take a look at this weekend's box office... hoh boy. Well, say what you will, but we still kick the world's ass when it comes to movies. And once again, thanks to a robust ad campaign, and probably some pirate-related product tie-ins, the latest installment of Disney's Pirates of the Carribean ride... I mean, movie, arrives in port at #1. Not quite recouping its ad budget, but maybe video sales will be good. Plus, doesn't Disney already own everything? Surely they'll get some monthly interest out of that! And finally, the only other debut this week is that Baywatch movie you've probably seen an ad for. Plus, that one chick in it was on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine or something. You know, one of those magazines that lie to women, and talk about the fifty newest sex positions you ABSOLUTELY MUST TRY RIGHT NOW. Man, I must be tired tonight. But I will say that "The Rock" did what he could. After all, the season finale of SNL was last week! Apparently, they're not going to bump that up a week for one movie.