Sunday, June 04, 2017

This Just In: HBO No Longer Believes in Free Speech

Today we say goodbye to a living legend.  No one saw this coming, but HBO has put on a lot of weight lately, and plus they recently fired the maid, so it was just HBO all alone in that big Beverly Hills mansion.  They were behind on the rent, the place was falling apart, they were supposed to call the exterminators... or was the maid supposed to do that?  Hmm.  Anyway, the maid was fired, so it didn't happen at all. 
You get the idea.  But it's a different era now.  HBO is now a wing of Amazon.  You've seen the ads; watch Game of Thrones while you shop for Ivanka Trump's latest book on Amazon.  And Amazon customers are a little more easily offended than HBO customers these days... especially if the package isn't on time.  "It SAID that the package arrived at the station today!  So... WHERE is it?" a typical Amazon customer at home will ask the delivery guy or gal.  Do NOT offend these people.  TREAD LIGHTLY with these people.  It's a fad, like Farmville; maybe it'll just go away in a few years, maybe it will only get worse.  No one knows with these things.
But apparently Bill Maher got into some hot water over the dreaded n-word.  I haven't been completely briefed yet on the incident, and I'm sure the FCC is just chomping at the bit to chomp down on a comedian, and soon.  They were close with Colbert a while back.  Obscenity's a tricky thing these days.  I mean, forget about that orange obscenity currently in the White House for a second.  There's, of course, Jim Comey's testimony coming up this week, and the White House is apparently trying to stop him from testifying in front of Congress.  Boy, that must be some testimony!  I'm pretty sure it's not going to be obscene, but how bad could it be?  I mean on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood... okay, VeggieTales, for something more recent, and 10 being Donald Trump's tax returns, how bad would Comey testifying be?  How damaging to Russia?  An eight?  A nine?  So many questions, but again, I'm forgetting my place.  For a social commentator, I make a great movie critic.  Okay, not that great.
But as expected, the latest incarnation of Wonder Woman was #1, despite her appearance in the much hated court case / cinematic crime Batman v. Superman.  Oh, this gal Gadot is going places.  Apparently she's too busy now to keep doing the Fast and Furious movies.  Shows you what I know, right?  Did they kill off the Gisele character?
In a distant second place... and I'm just going by the numbers, no offense intended to DreamWorks Animation.  I mean, $100 million for first place, $23.5 million for second.  That really is just math.  It's the long awaited Captain Underpants movie.  Seems to be more fun than the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, and certainly far more commercial.  The full title is Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie.  And with a performance like this weekend, certainly won't be the last.  I'm sure they're already putting the finishing touches on the screenplay of The First Epic Sequel, followed by The First Epic Trilogy.  After that, I'm assuming some kind of a reboot.

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