The President's Diaper Is Missing

Brought to you by That Little Bit of Shaving Foam Inside Your Nostril. That Little Bit of Shaving Foam Inside Your Nostril! Thank God it's just the one nostril, but the more you try to get it out, the farther in it goes. Also brought to you by Zeno's Paradoxes. Zeno's Paradoxes! Back then, he was known simply as "Mr. Paradox." So let's take a look back at them. First up, the Arrow Paradox: "If everything when it occupies an equal space is at rest at that instant of time, and if that which is in locomotion is always occupying such a space at any moment, the flying arrow is therefore motionless at that instant of time and at the next instant of time but if both instants of time are taken as the same instant or continuous instant of time then it is in motion." I guess in other words, "If everything is motionless at every instant, and time is entirely composed of instants, then motion is impossible." That's from Wikipedia. I guess it's like if you were holding a strip of film in your hand and looked at the individual pictures, nothing is in motion. But when you put it in the projector and turn the projector on, there's motion. That's also how it is in the universe. Time IS a series of instants, but they keep going forward. This forward motion of time seems to be the only thing in the universe not affected by such things as entropy, or accumulated depreciation, etc. You know, light bulbs burn out and need to be replaced, but time still keeps going. The only way to slow time down is to go to church on Sunday. Think of it as the prune juice for your schedule. Next: the Dichotomy Paradox, which I did elsewhere already, but what the heck. The time is right, and my rhyme is tight, so let's do it again. Basically, a runner is on a course. He gets to the halfway point, but can never reach the end because he's got to go half the distance, then half again, then half again... it's called an asymptote in mathematics. An example is one over x, or y=1/x. x and y can never be zero because of the rules of division. See, this paradox is simply a matter of wording: a runner runs the first half of the course, then the second. Next: Achilles and the tortoise: "In a race, the quickest runner can never over­take the slowest, since the pursuer must first reach the point whence the pursued started, so that the slower must always hold a lead." Man, this guy's got a thing about athletes! I think the logic doesn't hold up in the "the slower must always hold a lead," but that's just me. Maybe I just need to watch the Olympics more. I've only seen a few events, and I see quicker runners overtake slower ones almost all the time! It seems to be a big part of the deal, actually! Next... oh, these other three are "as given by Aristotle." That's when you know you're big, when you've got an assistant to do your paradoxes for you. It's like how Kevin Hart and Amy Schumer are now shepherding the careers of their less-talented stand-up comedian friends. So here's Zeno's Aristotle Paradoxes. First: Paradox of Place: "If everything that exists has a place, place too will have a place, and so on ad infinitum." Zeno and Aristotle are the grandfathers of Set Theory! This one is unrefutable... irrefutable? The logic is sound and complete, of course, but I couldn't help but think of two things: 1) that old Egyptian theory about how there's a little man in your brain that runs your body... but who runs HIS brain? Some other guy! But who runs THAT GUY's brain? Some other guy! But who... and so on, but apparently the Egyptians put a seven-guy cap on it so it doesn't run forever ad infinitum. And 2) that old Beatles lyric: "My mother was of the sky, my father was of the earth, and I am of the universe... and you know what it's worth." Next, the Paradox of the Grain of Millet: "The argument is that a single grain of millet makes no sound upon falling, but a thousand grains make a sound. Hence a thousand nothings become something, an absurd conclusion." Also, millet is a funny word. A thousand nothings becoming something is indeed an absurd conclusion, but I think the argument that a single grain of millet makes no sound upon falling has room for interpretation. I mean, after all, if a tree in the forest makes no sound when falling, what luck does a grain of millet have? I would say the single grain makes a sound when it falls and hits... the bottom of the bowl or beaker or whatever, but it's just too quiet to hear. I mean, a thousand nothings becoming something, ask the stockbrokers who lived through #OccupyWallStreet and they'll tell you all about a thousand nothings becoming something. Next, the Moving Rows or Stadium. Again with the race course. Did this Zeno of Elea suffer from bone spurs or something? Here's the Wikipedia text of it: "... concerning the two rows of bodies, each row being composed of an equal number of bodies of equal size, passing each other on a race-course as they proceed with equal velocity in opposite directions, the one row originally occupying the space between the goal and the middle point of the course and the other that between the middle point and the starting-post. This...involves the conclusion that half a given time is equal to double that time." Mathematical inverses! Well, again, the logic is sound and complete. Half is equal to double. This is time we're talking about, after all. I mean, if money is the root of all evil, and time equals money, well... it's a good thing that the half a given time and double that time are already equal, because if it were a gradual thing, it would never happen. I mean, the half a given time would have to travel half way to get to double, then half of that time, then half, then another half and... well, it's just downright impossible is all I'm saying. Okay, on to the debuts this week, of which there is two! And they debuted strong, within the top 5. The first is another Underworld-type actioner with the girl from The Fifth Element. It seems to be the first installment of what is hopefully for her another successful franchise. I'm not so interested in the title this time, as much as I am with her character's name... I mean, was it Eduard Artemev? No? Well, how about Artemis Antoine then? Artemio Antonini perhaps? Artemis Manias Arnold possibly? TeKimo Artema peut-être? François d'Artemare maybee? Talat Artemel perchance? Miguel Ángel Artemio? Chrysoula Artemis? Beata Artemska? Jackie Artemus? Peter Artemus? Philip Artemus? Artyom Artemev? Artyom Artemev? Pyotr Artemyev? Evgeniy Artemev? Lyudmila Artemeva? Artemio Antonini? Artemio Benki? Carole Bertemes? Artemis Chalkidou? Eleanor Grace Courtemanche? Mathieu Courtemanche? Michel Courtemanche? Michel Courtemanche? Robert Courtemanche? David Courtemarche? Denise Courtemarche? Gerald Courtemarche? François d'Artemare? Alexandre De Mortemart? Ertem Egilmez? Raif Ertem? Artemisa Gutierrez? Ertem Göreç? Mattijn Hartemink? Artemis Kapasakali? Prodromos Filotheou Kertemelidis? Artemis Kokoris? Anke Kortemeier? Artemis Lindal? Artemio Marquez? Irina Martemyanova? Artemus Mayor? Ellen Mortemer? Artemus Nigolian? Artemis Pizarro? Artemio Pérez Bueno? Artemio B. Tecson? Artemia Terenziani? Jim Wuertemburg? Mark Wurtemberg? Artemisa Varela? François d'Artemare? Artem Linco? Brisy Courtemanche? Pany Artemiou? Adrien Courtemanche? Artemis Willis? Artem? Artemis Matsas? Sally Mortemore? Jörg Hartema? Boris Martemyanov? Artemiy Troitskiy? Artemio Arzate H.? Artemisa Barrios? Artemio Guiterez? Artemis Ioannides? Artemis Lavda? Artemio Carpio? Artemis Oikonomopoulou? Artemio Narro? Oleg Artemchuk? Vladimir Artemjev? Artem Anfinogenov? Emrah Ertem? François d'Artemare? Artemiza Fernández Pinto? Artemis Tsarmi? Artemi Ayvazyan? Pavel Artemev? Artemisa Flores? Artemis Theodorakopoulou? Rose Mortem? Artem Demenok? Julie Courtemanche? Arkadiusz Artemjew? R. Artemin? Artemio Ongleo? Artemis Skouloudi? Artemis Pipineli? Artemio Pena? Artemisia Gentileschi? Artemis Fannin? Artemio Venegas? Artem Kostyukovsky? Artemio Gonzalez? Brianna Arteman? B. Artemev? Ertem Yilmaz? Jaume Arteman? Artemisa Sofia Stamatio Contreras? Artemiy Troitskiy? Artemio Abad? Julia Artemieva? Derya Artemel? Annelies Porteman? Anton Artemyev? Olivier Courtemanche? Eija Haartemaa? Emrah Özertem? Joseph Courtemanche? Artemide Scandariato? Artemio Espinosa? Artemus Young? Valentin Artemchuk? Artemis? Artemis Gounaki? Pit Bertemes? Artemis Fish'n'Chips? Artemisa Bahena? José Artemio Torres? Semyon Artemovsky? Jessica Courtemanche? Begüm Ertem? Gil Courtemanche? Sami Haartemo? Artemio Cruz? Artemis Lavda? Artemis Pebdani? Artem Danilov? Artemis Millan? Artem Chigvintsev? Artemiy Miller? Artem Vasyliev? Adam Mortemore? Artemio Tensuan? Antoine d'Artemare? Artemio Santana? Artem Antonov? Artem Gegner? Artem Tikhomirov? Artem Kulakov? Christina Artemis? Eduard Artemev? Jose Luis Ugartemendia? Mehmet Ali Irtemçelik? Jonathan Artemis Pierce? Artemis Westenberg? Pavel Artemev? Marc Wuertemburg? Artemi Kritikou? Artemise Goertz? Simge Tertemiz? Ertem Ucgozen? Artem Volobuev? Artem Bordovsky? Artem Chuba? Artemis Hristakis? Artem Seleznyov? Artem Kolpakov? Artemio Laratta? Artemis Limpert? Usov Artem? Patrik Nortemo? Artemis Alkalai? Artem Shcherbakov? Artem Vassiliev? Marianna Artemeva? Artemi Kokkinara? Eduard Artemev? Artem Erzinkyan? Artem G.? Artemio Canseco? Artemis Panou? Artem Zuev? Ioanna Artemiou? Artemis Agapiou? Artem Polosatyy? Artemis Hodoyan? Artemis Efthymiadou? Artemis Katevatis? Artemis Ioannou? Oleg Artemovich? Mario Courtemanche? Artemis Apostolopoulou? Artemis Damianou? Juan Artemio Barron III? Departement E.? Roman Artemyev? Artem? Alexander Artemev? Niki Artemi? Artemis Papazaharopoulou? Artemiou Olga? Alexey Artemov? Artem? Bastian Bertemes? Emilie Snartemo? Artemis Karvousani? Sander Snartemo? Artemis Chase? Volodymyr Artemenko? Artem Duran? Artemio S. Mariano? Kaan Ertem? Artemio Ongleo? Artem Ustayev? Artem Mishin? Anthony Bertemin? Artem Yatsunov? Artemis Korniliou? Artemis Silverowl? Artemis Joukowsky? Artemio Pena? Artemio Guerrero? Artemis Anastasiadou? Ana de Guanarteme? Artemio Okol? Artemesia Stanberry? Artemio Caliyo Jr.? Artemicion Zirconia? Dimitri Artemenko? Artemis Tsani? Artemis Andreadou? Artem Glotov? Artem Dudnik? Artemis Zenetou? Artemis Asteriadis? Artemio Bognot Jr.? Anna Artemchuk? Artem Kirsanov? Artemis Stavridi? Artemis Dala? Artem Ivanov? Artem Nasybulin? Artem Brahinets? Artemis Orfanidou? Artemis Leontidou? Artyom Artemev? H. Jarrod Courtemanche? Jason Courtemanche? Artemi Serdaki? Artemio Rangel? Artemis J. Hungermuffin? Marije Harteman? Artem Naumchuk? Artem Kalinin? Artemis Vavouli? Artem Shatokhin? Kurt Goertemiller? Artem Manilov? Artemy Guillen? Artemisia Noti? Natalya Artemyev? Artem Khalilov? Artemio Cabrales? Artemis Parbery? Artem Moiseyenkov? Heurtematte Margot? Artemio Chavez? Artem Markov? Nicole Courtemanche? Artemis Fire? Artemis Kana? Artem Sinelnikov? Artem Aleksashenko? Artem Kipnis? Bayhas Alirtemat? Artem Agafonov? Artemas Walters? Artemy Artemyev? Artemiy Troitskiy? Tuomas Nuortema? Artem Fokin? Nicholas J. Artemis? Artemi Corto? Margot Courtemanche? Artem Nikyiforov? Artem Pykachev? Artemis Gourlia? Gelena Martemyanova? Artem? Valentina Artemieva? Anna Artemenko? Artemas Rex? Artemis Vigliaris? Artemis Flessa? Artem Lúðvíksson? Heike B. Görtemaker? Artem Ignatov? Josée Courtemanche? Daria Artemova? Artemis Amolohiti? Sally Mortemore? Julia d'Artemare? Olga Artemyeva? Artem Barinov? Vladimir Artemyev? Artem Gridney? Artem Yakovlev? Alan Quartemont? Artem Anchukov? Lyudmila Artemeva? Artem Mizrukha? Artemio Caballero? D. Artemis? Artemus? Artemio Agulay? Artemio Balagot? Brett Goertemoeller? Artem Keuznetsov? Igor Artemev? Artem Kotov? Artemis Sapountzoglou? Artemio Pereira? Artemis/Efthymis? Artemio Caballero? Lynne Courtemanche? Artemisia Moreira da Rocha? Chloé Courtemanche? Ertem Eser? Romolo Martemucci? Artemis Alibali? Artemis Kamara? Artemio Tulang Sr.? Artemio Tulong? Sergey Artemev? Artemis Theocharis? Artem Romanenko? Artemio Abad? Artem Avakian? Anya Artementro? Artem Shashaev? Artem Gerasimenko? Artem Nikulin? Artem Ovcharenko? Artemisha Goldfeder? Artemio Mendoza? Artemis Bell? Artem Indjikian? Artem Indjikian? Maike Hartema? Artemio Zuniga? Artemio Layan? Steve Martemucci? Steve Martemucci? Steve Martemucci? Steve Martemucci? Steve Martemucci? Steve Martemucci? Steve Martemucci? Artem Mostovyy? Larry Artemachuck? Robert Courtemanche? Kelly Courtemanche? Vitam Non Mortem? Artem Volchik? Artemis Gavami? Artemis Preeshl? Artemio Gainsan? David Courtemarche? David Courtemarche? Artem Aleksahenko? Artemis Simerson? Ada Alize Ertem? Artemio Baigorri? Artem Karapetyants? Karkach Artem? Artem Kharin? Miguel Ortemberg? Artemio Ramos? Harm Beertema? Margot Heurtematte? Katie Mortemore? Artemis Poray-Heywowski? Paul Artemou? Jessica Artemenko? Artemi Okunev? Artemis Mazzotti? Artem Sudzhyan? Artemis Acetrack? Artem Nasybulin? Anton Artemovich Konyukhov? Artem Pasynkov? Artem Kovalevsky? Cigdem Irtem? Artemio Aguilar? Mehmet Ertem? Lillan Rosland Hortemo? Artem Voronovich? Artemus Martin? Artemis Strimenous? Artemis Tavoularis? Artemio Portugal? Artemis Craig? Kristen Kortemeyer? Artem Prokin? Artem Burlov? Artem Bagiev? Artem Rakov? Mariya Artem'eva? Artemis Antippas? Artem Yakovin? Beatriz Artemio? Artemiza Quintana? Artemis Karaman? Kristina Martemucci? Matteo Martemucci? Tahira Martemucci? Luca Martemucci? Mario Martemucci? Rebecca Martemucci? Marco Martemucci? Ida Mortemart? Stephanie Courtemanche? Vladimir Artemenko? Blaine Kortemeyer? Artemis Pattakou? Artem Tsvyetkov? Artem Kutasov? Artem Tarasenkov? Artem Pankin? Artem Kuptsov? Artemis Jaen? Artemio Duran? Artemio Reyes? Artem Streltsov? Artemis Sacantanis? Michel Courtemanche? Artem? Artemus Jenkins? Artem Belov? Artem Polosatyy? Artem Belov? Artem Aleksashenko? Artem Aleksashenko? Artemis Kyriacou? Artemesia Farris? Onur Irtem? Artemus Cole? Artem Kovalev? Artemis Jafari? Artem Polosatyy? Simo Haartemo? Sean Gregory Bartemes? Frank 'Artemis' Ferry? Artem Danilovskij? Ekaterina Artemenko? Artem Tatenko? Artemisa Machado? Artem Tatenko? Artemis Haidouti? Artemisia Szorzda? Lunar Artemis? Artem Tatenko? Artem Garipov? Lauren Courtemanche? Ellen Courtemanche? Denise Courtemanche? Artemio Tabuena? Artem Saburov? Artem Antonchenko? Artemis Skyfa? Artem Grdzelov? Marina Artemenko? Artem Yakimov? Artemiy Isaev? Artemis Theodoridi? Artem Georgiev? Artem Krylov? Hristiana Artemiou? Artem Chernov? Artem Verhogljad? Eleni Artemiou-Fotiadou? Artem Petrov? Artemiy Shaffer? Artemide? Artem Alexeev? Marlow Courtemance? Frances Courtemance? Artem Yankov? The Artems? Artemis Saridakis? Yuliya Artemova? Artem Boars? Jacqueline Courtemanche? Artemis Spencer? Arseniy Artemov? Irving Artemas? Artem Posypanov? Artem Dollezhal? Oliver Tartemann? Artem Maznov? Artem Ignatov? Artem Kokorin? Artemio Villapuerte De Pala? Artemis Zavaliangos-Petropulu? Artemis Marianne Samaras? Artem Lebedev? Artem Shpakov? Artem Kolotov? Artemis Hyde? Vyacheslav Artemyev? Artem Yakovlev? Pavel Artemev? Artemis Terra? Artem Gostev? Artem Volchkov? Artem Gorchakov? Artem Nekrasov? Artemis Han? Rodrigo Sartem? Artem Kobets? Artem Milevskiy? Artemio Tambis? Artem Pashkevich? Artem Klevansky? Cristen Martemucci? Artem Timofeyev? Evgeniy Artemev? José Artemio Torres? Artem Pirojenko? Johannes Hertema? Artem Chechkenev? Artem Ryzhkov? Artem Shemet? Artem Alasheev? Nick Fortemps? Artem Sukach? Manfred Görtemaker? Artem Mironovsky? Artemio Calijo? Chris Martemson? Robert Courtemanche? Artem Borodich? Aleksandra Artemeva? Artem Korolev? Philip Hertemberger? Artem Baburin? Artemis? Artem Petrov? Mari Kortemaa? Artemisa Saucedo? Artemis Montoya? Artem Kulakov? Artemis Sgouropoulou? Artem Dmitriev? Artemis Christodoulou? Basak Ertem? Maxim Artemenko? Artem Sukharev? Alexandra Courtemanche? Artemis Snow? Artemus Valcano? Artemi Adreev? Artem Fomitchev? Juhani Kortemäki? Artem Vasilyev? Artem Sargsyan? Artemis Team? Artem Pulikov? Artem Smirnov? Artem Andrei Todika? Artemis Plaja? Anton Artemenkov? Artemis? John Quartemont? Artem Nerses? Artem Paliyev? Artemis Prodromou? Artem Lobov? Ceylan Ertem? Artemus Macalma? Artem Khvorostukhin? Artem Mikheev? Artem Trofymenko? Anatoli Artemenko? Artem Milichikhin? Artem Nikitin? Chris Mortemson? Artemis Shaw? Dirk Schortemeier? Artem Ditkovsky? Anthony Gortemiller? Artemis Walters? Artyom Artemev? Artemis Kavian Pour? Korina Artemiadis? Pinar Ertemur? Artemio Garcia? Artem Golub? Artem Osadchenko? Artemis Jenkins? Artemio Porthela? Artem Zhimo? Artem Yamanov? Artem Mostovyy? Artem Kulakov? Artem Zheliba? Artem Marashan? Artem Makarevich? Artem Lyskov? Artem Drabkin? Artem Isaakyan? Artem Kulakov? Anna Artemyeva? Oksana Artemenko? Artem Baskoev? Artemiy Toksubaev? Artem Buhaev? Artemis Jay? Rachel Harteman? Artemio Vallone? Artem Kulakov? Artemysia Fragiskatos? Artem Palchevskiy? Artemio Ambriz? Artemis Kontou? Artem Chmelev? François d'Artemare? Artem Rykhalskyi? Artem Kurdupov? Artem Pomazan? Artem Makarevich? Artemiy Krivoruchko? Artem Krylov? Artemio Muniz Jr.? Artem Akimov? Artemis Grympla? Artem Bashenin? Artem Putilov? Artemis Manakou? Artemis Koutsivitis? Artemis Ioannides? Artemis Drowning? Artemus Dolgin? Artem Volkov? Artem Grigorev? Artemis Hester? Artemisa Laurence? Kulikov Artem? Robert Courtemanche? Allison Courtemanche? Les Pompiers du Service Départemental d'incendie et de Secours de la Moselle? Artem Golikov? Artem Kulikov? Anton Artemenkov? Artem Kamalov? Artem Bogdan Skiba? Artem Tereshczenk? Artem Kulakov? Mateo Martemucci? Artem Mikhaylov? Seda Ertem? Artem Bokov? Artem Schchuiko? David Courtemanche? Artemis Chen? Hayel Wartemberg? Artemis Jamison? Christina Artemis? Artemios Alichanof? Artemios Alichanof? Artem Abroskin? Artem Polienko? Jerney Harteman? Artem Vassiliev? Artem Tarsky? Artem Teymurazian? Artem Bank? Artem Orlov? Artem Nakhodkin? Artem Tunev? Vladimir Artemenko? Julia d'Artemare? Artemisia Ashton? Artem Kretov? Artem Kirillovskiy? Artem Golubev? Artem Vassiliev? Ulyana Artemenko? Artemy Harutyunyan? Artem Moiseevskiy? Artem Barabash? Artem Tsaregorodtzev? Artem Mirskov? Artem Levanevskiy? Kira Artemenko? Artem Gaydukov? Artemiy Belov? Artem Grigoriev? Artem Loshilin? Artem Hlezin? Artem Grigoriev? Artem Bezukladnikov? Gerald Courtemarche? Artemio Baptismo? Artemide Alfieri? Julio Ortemín? Artemis Holdenberry? Artemiy Sokolov? Artem Litvinenko? Artem Bakmanidis? Artemiy Savelyev? Anna Artemyeva? Artem Yerkanyan? Artem Hryakov? Artem Klimenko? Artem Klinkov? Artem Chernenko? Ártemis Montoya? Artemio Dimakiling? Artemis Papalexopoulos? Artem Nasybulin? Edu Paugartem? Artem Ulitin? Artem Kulakov? Artem Iurchenko? Olena Artemenko? Olivier Courtemanche? Artem Lee? Artem Kulakov? Artem Kulakov? Artemija Stanic? Artem Hidirov? Artem Suleymanov? Artem Kuznetsov? Artem Kovyazin? Anna Artemieva? Artem Aisagaliev? Artem Nazartchouk? Artem Bagdasaryan? Artemis Howl? Artemis Szekir-Rigas? Artem Vostrov? Anna Artemenko? Robert Courtemanche? Artem Bagdasaryan? Eric Cortembert? Artem Svirin? Artemiy Barkov? Artem Winebaum? Artemis Shomaw? Artemio Marquez Jr.? Artem Taranenko? Artemis Blount? E. Artemenko? Ertem Göreç? Artem Maximov? Artem Galitsin? Artemisios Atayan? Evangelia Artemis-Gomez? Louis Courtemanche? Artem Lavrynenko? Artem Dzharayan? Artem Kalikin? Luisa Hartema? Yasar Ertem? Santiago Artemis? Artem Bibik? Artem Kochubey? Alexander Artemov? Aundre Artemus? Beatriz Post Mortem? Artem Gvozdkov? Artem Murashev? Artem Manuilov? Keld Kortemann Sterlø? Vladimir Artemyev? Artemis Choutris? Artem Zamashnoy? Artem Lavrynenko? Artem Timofeev? Artem Mostovyy? Artemis Cooper? Artem Nasybulin? Artem Pachikov? Artem Myaus? Artem Moskalev? Ramon Arteman? Artemus Cragg? Artem Dombrovsky? Vadim Artemenko? Artemii Vikharev? Artemis Faux? Artem Alasheev? Alexander Artemchyuk? Edip Ertem? Alexander Artemenko? Artemis Wu? Emre Ortemiz? Artem Kazmin? Jean-Claude Hartemann? Artem Makarevich? Artem Ponomarev? Artem Ponomarev? Artemisszió Alapítvány? Olivia Artemis Webb? Artem Trifonov? Artem Ostanin? Angelica Artemisia Pedatella? Tatiana Artemchuk? Hubert d'Artemare? Artem Pavlenko? Jared Bartemeyer? Alexandra Artemieva? Artem Berezenko? Maryna Artemenko? Seker Ertem? Artemi? Christophe Bertemes? Artem Glushchuk? Artem Burko? Artem Litvinov? Artemis Pappa? Artemis Skoubourdi? Maria Artemenko? Artem Selennov? Artem Biloborodko? Artem Ryzhykov? Artemus Jenkins? Artem Akatov? Natasha Artemova? Ilya Artemov? Artemis Samothrakis? Artem Viahnyakov? Denys Artemenko? Denys Artemenko? Artem Dzyuba? Artem Isakov? Artem Fedetskyi? Denys Artemenko? Artem Aisagaliev? Artem Dzyuba? Shawn Martemucci? Artem Frankov? Artem Oskin? Artem Kretov? Artemis John Lyons? Ilban Ertem? Artem Artemiev? Artem Karlikov? Artem Abzhalilov? Artem Evtenko? Artemissia Savvidou? Christine Artemis? Artem Sitak? Artemis Smythe? Artemis Benezes? Artem Kluchnikov? Artemiy Repin? Artem Muradyan? Artemio Muniz? Sima Ertem? Alexey Artemov? Artemis Paige? Marjan Poortema? Artem Miheev? Artem Horbatyuk? Artem Kovrov? Artem Stretovych? Artemia? Sasha Artemova? Varvara Artemieva? Artem Polyakov? Artem Ivanov? Ertem Sener? Artemus Gordon? Artem Pekun? Artem Zaytsev? Artem Kurmesh? Artem Khrystoforov? Artem Karasev? Yermolaiev Artem? Artemiy Repin? Artem Ruffy? Artem Mitnev? Artem Kharchenko? Artemije Radosavljevic? Artem Potapov? Artem Harutyunyan? Nick Fortemps? Artem Yagodin? Artem Prikhodko? Artem Svichev? Artem Kirillov? Artem Markkov? Alexey Artemiev? Artem Tarashkevich? Artemis Varzandeh? Artemis Yagou? Artem Ohanyan? Artem Brodovschuk? Artem Tereschenko? Artem Kosynskyi? Artem Rudniev? Gartemann Yolande? Artemus Gordon? Artem Aisin? Ray Courtemanche Jr.? Nikos Artemis? Artemis Bayandor? Artem Zacepin? Artemis Polemis? Artemis Hashemi? Yan Courtemanche? Artem Zacepin? Artem Koliubaiev? Artemis Howl? Artem Vassiliev? Artem Bykov? Artemy Kalinin? Artem Baburin? Artem Slobchenko? Artem Grot? Gaynullov Artem? Artem Sirchenko? Artem Kestner? Artemisa Lawrence? Artem Erzinkyan? Artem Soloviev? Artem Aksyonov? Maksim Artemyev? Sam Hartemink? Artem Makarevich? Sergio Órteman? Artem Pastuch? Nur Ertem? Artem Novikov? Artem Vishnyakov? Artemio del Valle Arizpe? Artem Sorokin? Artem Starosiek? Artemia Argyrou? Artem Khokholikov? Artem Ostapenko? Artem Baev? Artem Katashow? Pavel Artemev? Artem Chekletsov? Artem Mironov? Artem Mostovyy? Anton Artemyev? Artem Savchenko? Artem Lavilin? Penelope Artemis? Artem Kozirev? Edita Artemis? Artem Seleznev? Artem Kochetov? Artem Men? Artem Gutkowski? Artem Mostovyy? Artem Markov? Artem Kolomeitsev? Artem Smirnov? Artemus Pender? Artem Sukhinin? Artemis Simon? Artemis Kagas? Artem Konstandian? Artem Chervonosheyenko? Artem Coyun? Artem Kostrov? Artemis Karotseri-Vermeulen? Artem Kayun? Artem Vilbek? Artemis? Artem Emelianov? Artemios Havalits? Elif Tugçe Ertem? Artemis Papageorgiou? Artemis Hatziapostolidou? Artem Kovalev? Artem Mykhailetskyi? François d'Artemare? Artem Kuzmin? Vlad Artemchuk? Ece Irtem? Ece Irtem? Artem Bondarenko? Artemy Egorov? Ece Irtem? Ece Irtem? Maksim Artemev? Artemel Cingöz? Artem Chubaryan? Artemio Fonseca? Artem Dubra? Artem Gladkyl? Ece Irtem? Artem Rakov? Ece Irtem? Susana Mortem? Artem Voytenkov? Artemy Belyakov? Artem Tarkhanov? Jean-Nicolas Courtemanche? Artemis Joukowsky? Artemiy Padalka? Artem Akopian? Yelena Artemyeva? Artemi Gavezou? Artemy Gorelov? Artem Funk? Artem Goldman? Freddie Hortemel? Artem Karimov? Artemisa Bega? Ali Ertem? Kateryna Artemenko? Artem Garts? Artem Chornyak? Alina Artemova? Artem Troianovskyi? Artem Markov? Bilge Ertem? Artemy Solntsev? Artem Gribov? Yusuf Ertem? Caner Ertem? Artem Khakalo? Artemiy Repin? Josef Ortemter? Artemis Kohas? Artemiy Lebedev? Artem Vasiliev? Artemio Rivera Casillas? Artem Studennikov? Artem Artemov? Artemova Ekaterina? François d'Artemare? Artemis Shaw? Artem Artemov? Artem Nechepurenko? Artem Batutin? Artemis Anastasiadou? Sinem Ertem? Artem Evdokimov? Artemis Cephai? Ertem Bugra Dogan? Artem Holovaty? Konstantin Artemenko? Artem Aisagaliev? Artem Dementiev? Artem Khutornoy? Artemis Swann? Artem Gavrilyuk-Bozhko? Artem Kozak? Artem Berezhnoy? Artem Koganowsky? Artem Geydonas? Yasar Ertem? Artem Kolyshnitsin? Roberto Heurtematte? Jill Courtemanche? Artem Yakunin? Artem Badyulkin? Artem Rybakov? Artem Kiselev? Artem Rachkelyuk? Artem Ansheles? Artem Shevchenko? Artem Asatryan? Artemy Goncharov? Artem Mostoviy? Maryna Artemenko? Artem Fedotov? Artemis Rovoli? Artem Galinskyi? Artem Samoilenko? Artem Finn? Artem Sokolovsky? Artemis Cephei? Celeste Courtemanche? Artem Arsenyev? Artem Kolyada? Rogovoy Artem? Artem Sozinov? Ahmet Ertem? Artemis Mustyatsa? Artem Lyashenko? Artemio Samo? Artem Kharchenko? Svetlana Artemieva? V. Artemenko? Artem Pashporin? Artemis Asaadi? Artem Demidenko? Artem Poddubnyak?

...no? Nothing? Not even close? Well then, I guess it's all just BACK TO THE SEVENTIES THEN!!! I MEAN, BACK TO THE DECAHYDRONAPHTHALENE BOARD THEN!!! Drawing board; Ooo0*@%Q¤©®ºÒÓÔÕÖØÞðòóôõöøþCCCCDÐGGGGŒ?OOOUUUUUUÐOOOO‰@8ØÔþøöõôóðëêéèçæåäãâßÞÜÛÚÙØ×ÖÕԣܢoopoops... sorry about shouting. Okay, on to the next debut. So that one was for the kiddies; for the adults among us, it's the latest spin on that old family tradition, Fatal Attraction. Whatever happened to all the artists involved in that one, anywho? Whelp, none of them seemed to be involved in this latest incarnation. I mean, who wants to repeat themselves? Even the Three Stooges tried hard to keep things fresh... did they succeed, though? Anyway, this new one's got a titillating title, enticing... wonder if the film lives up to the name at all. It did pretty good for a Christmas picture of this kind; Variety wasn't talking about it today. No, the top story was that Jim Carrey's not returning as Joe Biden. No, seriously, that's the top story on Variety. At least, this morning. Boy, he's got a really great agent. Anyway, what was the name of that one film again? Gotta focus, MH, gotta focus... damn, they're putting desert on the table. So drop the kids off at the Fifth Element lady thing, and I go to see "00Angels" Femme Fatale? No? Well, how about "101 Dalmatians: The Series" Film Fatale/My Fair Chicken? No, I stay at home and stream that on Disney Plus. 48HR Femme Fatale maybe? "60 Minutes" Online U/Femme Fatale/Whose Body Is It Anyway? possibly? Accent Fatale perhaps? "Achter gesloten deuren" Femme Fatale peut-être? "Aktenzeichen XY... ungelöst!" Neuer Hinweis nach 28 Jahren/Fatales Telefonat/Messerattacke am Morgen/Neue Spur in altem Mordfall by the by? "Alles was zählt" Ein fataler Fehler perchance? "Alles was zählt" Ein fataler Trugschluss? "Alles was zählt" Eine Entscheidung mit fatalen Folgen? "Alles was zählt" Fataler Fehler? "Amanda Burton's Bloody Valentines" Femme Fatale? Angesichts ihrer fatalen Veranlagung scheidet Lilo Wanders freiwillig aus dem Leben? "Articulate with Jim Cotter" Feminist Fatale, Matthew Neenan, Modigliani, Luis Cruz Azaceta? Man! Thought we'd never get out of the German stuff! "Badehotellet" Fatale følger? And... spoke too soon. Figures. Beauté fatale? Beauté fatale? Beauté fatale? Beauté fatale? "Beauté fatale" Date de péremption? "Beauté fatale" Jouer à la poupée? "Betrayed" Family Fatale? Beyond Batman: Frozen Freaks and Femme Fatales - The Makeup of 'Batman & Robin'? Britney Spears Live: The Femme Fatale Tour? Britney Spears: I Am the Femme Fatale? "Buried in the Backyard" Femme Fatale? Burraco fatale? "Butch Dixon" Bruno Turbo and Rico Fatale? "Butch Dixon" Luke Ward & Rico Fatale? "Caméra café" Mixion fatale? "Camera Café" Attrazione fatale? "Camera Café" Femme fatale? "Camera Café" Gesto fatale? Capriccio fatale? Capriccio fatale? Capriccio fatale!? Carmen, Violetta, Mimi, romantiques et fatales? "Casting" Fatales fiançailles? "Cherif" Illusion Fatale? "Cold Blood" Femme Fatale? "Commissaire Valence" Séduction fatale? CoupFatale? Creme Fatale? "Crime Story" Femme Fatale? "Das Familiengericht" Fatale Liebe? Das fiese Orakel und der fatale Wunsch? De Fatalen? "De Kroongetuigen" Fatale jaloezie? "Der Blaulichtreport" Sexauktion mit fatalem Ende? "Der Winzerkönig" Fatale Forderungen? "Der Zürich-Krimi" Borchert und der fatale Irrtum? "Die Rosenheim-Cops" Ein Fehler mit fatalen Folgen? "Dingo Suede: Private Detective" Dingo Suede and the Femme Fatale? "Distretto di polizia" Un talento fatale? "Dr. Stefan Frank - Der Arzt, dem die Frauen vertrauen" Ein fataler Irrtum? "Drunk History" Femme Fatales? "Drôles d'histoires" Rencontre fatale? Duran Duran: Femme Fatale? "A Case for Two" Eine fatale Entscheidung? Elle Fatale? "En Famille" L'épargne fatale? "Enquêtes criminelles: le magazine des faits divers" Affaire Lejard: fortune fatale? "Enquêtes criminelles: le magazine des faits divers" Manuela, femme fatale? "Enquêtes réservées" Beauté fatale? "Enquêteurs" L'arme fatale parfaite? Errore fatale? Errore fatale? Fairies Fatale? "Faites entrer l'accusé" Béatrice Edouin, Femme fatale? "Faites entrer l'accusé" Liaisons fatales? Fame Fatales? "Fame Fatales" Chainletter? "Fame Fatales" Pretty, Pretty Princess? "Fame Fatales" The Skew with Brielle? Fatale? Fatale? Fatale? Fatale? Fatale? Fatale? Fatale? Fatale bellezza? Fatale Collective: Bleed? Fatale complicità? Fatale Murders? Fatale Mutterliebe? Fatale Orientale? Fatale-Station? "Fatale-Station" Episode #1.1? "Fatale-Station" Episode #1.10? "Fatale-Station" Episode #1.2? "Fatale-Station" Episode #1.3? "Fatale-Station" Episode #1.4? "Fatale-Station" Episode #1.5? "Fatale-Station" Episode #1.6? "Fatale-Station" Episode #1.7? "Fatale-Station" Episode #1.8? "Fatale-Station" Episode #1.9? Fataleity? Fatalement Vôtre? Fem fatale? Fem Fatale? Femme Fatale? Femme fatale? Femme Fatale? Femme Fatale? Femme Fatale? Femme Fatale? Femme Fatale? Femme Fatale? Femme Fatale? Femme Fatale? Femme Fatale? Femme Fatale? Femme Fatale? Femme Fatale? Femme Fatale? Femme Fatale: Dream Within a Dream? Femme Fatale: Dressed to Kill? Femme Fatale: Falling In and Out of Love? Femme Fatale: From Dream to Reality? Femme Fatale: Waiting for the Big One? Femme Fatales? Femme Fatales? "Femme Fatales" 16 Minutes of Fame? "Femme Fatales" Angel & Demons? "Femme Fatales" Bad Medicine? "Femme Fatales" Bad Science? "Femme Fatales" Behind Locked Doors: Part 1? "Femme Fatales" Behind Locked Doors: Part 2? "Femme Fatales" Crazy Mary? "Femme Fatales" Extracurricular Activities? "Femme Fatales" Family Business: Part 1? "Femme Fatales" Family Business: Part 2? "Femme Fatales" Girls Gone Dead? "Femme Fatales" Gun Twisted? "Femme Fatales" Haunted? "Femme Fatales" Hell Hath No Furies? "Femme Fatales" Help Me, Rhonda? "Femme Fatales" Jail Break? "Femme Fatales" Killer Instinct? "Femme Fatales" Libra: Part 1? "Femme Fatales" Libra: Part 2? "Femme Fatales" One Man's Death? "Femme Fatales" Something Like Murder? "Femme Fatales" Speed Date? "Femme Fatales" The Clinic? "Femme Fatales" The White Flower? "Femme Fatales" Till Death Do Us Part? "Femme Fatales" Trophy Wife? "Femme Fatales" Visions: Part 1? "Femme Fatales" Visions: Part 2? Femme Fatales with Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly? Femme Fatales: Seen & Unheard? "Femmes de loi" Beauté fatale? Femmes Fatales? Femmes fatales? Femmes Fatales: Sharon Stone? Femmes Fatales: Women of The Deathmatch? Fiend Fatale? Fifi Fatale? Film Fatale? Final Cut: Fame Fatale Collector's Edition? Footwear Fatale? "Force" Femke fatale? "Freaky Stories" Pirates/Choc-Roaches/Femme Fatale/Dear Mother and Father? "Friday the 13th: The Series" Femme Fatale? "Fun Size Horror's Shocktale Party" Femme Fatales? Fur Fatale? "Grindl" Grindl: Femme Fatale? "Haute tension" Fatale obsession? "Het beste van GTST Classics" De fatale parachutesprong uit 2013? "Het beste van GTST Classics" Fatale ruzie Janine Elschot en Meike Griffioen uit 2002? Het fatale scooterongeluk? "Histoire(s) du cinéma" Fatale beauté? "Hollywood Inc." Fatale? "Hot and Mean" Femme Fatale on Curvy Cutie? Il sotterraneo fatale? Illusions fatales? "Im Namen des Gesetzes" Fatale Schöpfung? Impronta fatale? Indizio fatale? Ingénue fatale? "Joe Bob's Drive-In Theater" Femme Fatale Month: Part 3? "Joe Bob's Drive-In Theater" Femme Fatale Month: Part 4? "Julie Lescaut" Beauté fatale? Karlita, la femme fatale? "Keyzer & de Boer advocaten" Fatale fout? "Krypto the Superdog" Diaper Madness/Feline Fatale? "Köln 50667" Fatale Entscheidung? "Köln 50667" Kimis und Chicos fataler Racheplan? "Köln 50667" Toms fatale Entscheidung? "Köln 50667" Vertrauensbruch mit fatalen Folgen? "Köln 50667" Fatale Entscheidungen aus Liebe? L'échéance fatale? L'assalto fatale? L'Enfant Fatale? "L'ombra del destino" Un richiamo fatale? L'ombra fatale? L'orchidea fatale? La beauté fatale et féroce...? La conserve fatale? La drogue fatale? La femme fatale? La femme fatale? "La stagione dei delitti" Seduzione fatale? "Le Set Barré" Hors série 3 - Jeu vidéo, Bibelot, chromosome et femme fatale? "Les cinq dernières minutes" Une beauté fatale? "Les enquêtes d'Éloïse Rome" Rumeur fatale? "Les garçons de la plage" Passion fatale? "Les Gromelot et les Dupinson" Alarme fatale? "Les Kiki Tronic" Larmes fatales? "Les mystères de l'amour" Erreur fatale? "Les mystères de l'amour" Fatale imprudence? "Les mystères de l'amour" Fatales coïncidences? "Les mystères de l'amour" Fatales révélations? "Les mystères de l'amour" Obsession fatale? "Les vacances de l'amour" Absence fatale? "Les vacances de l'amour" Femmes fatales? Liaison fatale? Lili Fatale: Depuis Que Tu Es Parti? Lili Fatale: Feels? Lili Fatale: La mare aux oublis? Lili Fatale: Mimi? Live in '88: Femme Fatale? Looker 2: Femme Fatale? Méprise fatale? Mami Fatale? "Man I Hate Mondays" Clown Sends Birthday Greeting to Michelle Fatale? "Matt's Monsters" Attraction fatale? "Mega Mindy" Femme fatale? "Merci Qui?" L'Arme Fatale? "MILF GiGi's Bondage Fantasies" Femme Fatale Dominatrix Takes Control? "Million Dollars, But..." Theme Pack: Femme Fatales? "Mord på DR2" Den fatale vind? "Morden im Norden" Fatale Begegnung? "Murder Among Friends" Friend Fatale? "Niedrig und Kuhnt - Kommissare ermitteln" Fatale Verführung? "Niedrig und Kuhnt - Kommissare ermitteln" Fataler Ehebruch? "Nota Bene" Les 3 liaisons fatales des hommes de pouvoir? Noviembre Noir: femme fatale? "NubilesET" Femme Fatale? Oppio fatale? Ossessione fatale? "P.J." Fatale vision? "P.J." Femme fatale? Parfum Fatale? Passione fatale? Passione fatale? "Pecados Ajenos" Noticias fatales? "Pegas Productions" Femme fatale Jemma Valentine? "Pegas Productions" Un bon coup de queue pour Lily Fatale? Persuasion Fatale? "Planet e." Alles Bio, alles gut? - Über die fatalen Folgen des Öko-Booms? "Playboy Plus" Kristy Garett in Femme Fatale? "Pongwiffy" Broom Fatale? "Praxis Bülowbogen" Fataler Vorwand? "Private Secretary" Femme Fatale? "Professor T." Een fatale vergissing? Promenade Fatale (Love Letters)? Provocazione fatale? "Psycho" Erreur fatale? Resplendent Fatales? "Review" A Slightly Shocking Spectacle/Whoever Was Heath Robinson?/Monsters, Unicorns and 'Femmes Fatales'? "Ride Overshare" Feline Fatale? Rock Star, a Poet and la Femme Fatale? "Rosie" Arme fatale? "Rosie" Livraison fatale? "Rote Rosen" Eine fatale Diagnose? "Rote Rosen" Fatale Folgen? "Rote Rosen" Fataler Baupfusch? "Roxane, la vie sexuelle de ma pote" Femme fatale? SARAJEVO. FEMME FATALE? Scienza fatale? Scommessa Fatale? Scorn Fatale? "Screen Two" Femme Fatale? Second Thoughts: Fatale Begierde? "Seconde B" Fille fatale? "Secrets d'histoire" Cléopâtre ou la beauté fatale? "Secrets d'histoire" Mata-Hari, espionne ou femme fatale? "Section de recherches" Attraction fatale? "Seksualundervisning: The Musical" Fatale konsekvenser? She Wolf: A femme fatale of the American Dream? "Si près de chez vous" Beauté fatale? "Si près de chez vous" Une dépendance fatale? Sinfonia fatale? "At the Movies" Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets/Far from Heaven/8 Mile/Femme Fatale? Smoking Femmes Fatales: Volume One? Smoking Femmes Fatales: Volume Two? "SOKO Kitzbühel" Fatale Begierde? "SOKO Köln" Fatale Begierde? "SOKO Stuttgart" Fatale Begabung? "SOKO Wismar" Femme fatale? "Sous le soleil" Comédie fatale? "Sous le soleil" Décision fatale? "Sous le soleil" Fatale? "Stadtklinik" Ein fataler Fehler? "Stadtklinik" Fatale Erinnerung? "Sturm der Liebe" Fatales Geständnis? "Tales of a Broken Reality: Fragments" Feme Fatale? "Talk im Hangar-7" Fatale Liebe - Wie gefährlich sind Gefühle?? "That Movie Chick" That Time Xena Was a Femme Fatale - Xena Retrospective Season 0? "That Movie Look" Femme Fatale? "The Beachcombers" Homme Fatale? "The Chevy Mystery Show" Femme Fatale? "The Fall Guy" Femme Fatale? "The Fashion Show" Femme Fatale? The Femme Fatale? "The Garfield Show" Fame Fatale/Virtualodeon? The Making of 'Femme Fatale'? "The Perfect Murder" Football Fatale? "The Savage Dragon" Femme Fatale? "The Tom and Jerry Show" Birthday Bashed/Feline Fatale? "The Twisted Whiskers Show" Feline Fatale/Lost? "Trailers from Hell" Allan Arkush on Femme Fatale? "TS Seduction" The Widow Walks: Debut of Jonelle Brooks, the Ultimate Femme Fatale? "Un tueur si proche" Obsession Fatale (Ados de Toronto)? "Un tueur si proche" Tolérance fatale (Larochelle)? Une femme fatale? Vamps et femmes fatales du cinéma européen? "Vater wider Willen" Fataler Verdacht? "Verbotene Liebe" Fatale Beichte? "Verbotene Liebe" Fataler Start ins Glück? Victim: Femme Fatale? "Visites privées" La Corse-du-Sud, beauté fatale? O Mein Gott? "Vtori Plan" Femmes Fatales? "WatchMojo" Top 10 Femme Fatales in Modern Movies? "West.art am Sonntag" Fatale Hilfe - Können unsere Spenden Afrika retten?? "Wie is de Mol?" Femmes Fatales? "Worst Week Ever" The Funny Femme Fatales? "Xev Bellringer" Femme Fatale Sterilizes You? "YooHoo and Friends" Gem Fatale? "Young, Hot & Crooked" Femme Fatale? Ze Mefamo Saga: Meurtres Fatalement Mortels!? "Zwei bei Kallwass" Fatale Verlobung?

...no? Nothing? Not even close? Well then, I guess it's all just BACK TO THE '80S THEN!!! I MEAN, BACK TO THE DU0DENOJEJUNOSTOMIES BOARD THEN!!! Drawing board; Ooo0*@%Q¤©®ºÒÓÔÕÖØÞðòóôõöøþCCCCDÐGGGGŒ?OOOUUUUUUÐOOOO‰@8ØÔþøöõôóðëêéèçæåäãâßÞÜÛÚÙØ×ÖÕԣܢoopoops... sorry about shouting. Okay, on to the next debut... oh! I guess we're done! Good, because I got to get to bed early. Gotta turn off the computer early, as it angries up the blood too much and I can't get to sleep.