Monday, December 26, 2005

The War on Christmas


I gotta keep this short as it is dangerously close to my bedtime. Folks, let's face it: there's a war on Christmas out there. It's a novel approach to Christmas, anyway. The novelty will wear off soon enough even on the most susceptible likes of me. Even I thought in the back of my movie-clogged noggin: Happy Holidays? What, is Christmas chopped liver? Of course, I should point out that it's been a while since I've celebrated Christmas, and I haven't bought a Christmas present for anyone in years, and I believe that Christmas trees are really bad for the environment. But the way I see it, there's some new blood in charge of the media now, even if it is just Faux News. Most of the nut cases out there blame the Jews for controlling the media, but this is indeed the Era of Questioning Everything. Only now it's coming from the Right, and not the Left. Where's all the wackos who say that the Jews control the World Bank when you need them? Since Wolfowitz was appointed by Bush, now there really is a Jew in the World Bank! But, the way I see it, it's okay because a Republican's doing it. Right? Isn't that the way these things work?
Anyway, for those of you who think I'm being anti-Semitic, let me just say that I'm a Sobchak Jew myself these days. It's like all those Righties who criticize Bush; when you get right down to it, it's just terms of endearment. All those "It's my party, too" types, don't worry. They're not going to stop voting Republican just because they don't like Rove being in charge.
Anyway, so now we have some fresh Warmonger voices in the media. So here's what to look forward to: the War on New Year's, the War on St. Patrick's Day (probably waged by the old culprits, of course, the Gays!!), the war on Valentine's Day, the War on the President's Day Sale, the War on Outlet Malls. Probably won't hear anything on the War on Peace, but possibly the War on War.
But with movies like Wolf Creek, Hostel and BloodRayne on the Christmas movie horizon, maybe there really is a war on Christmas! I half expect a fresh run of Saw II to commemorate Hollywood's Bloody Christmas.
Okay, bedtime for me. Good night, and have a merry Winter Solstice. Them days is getting longer again, and all them Sunbirds will come back from Australia now!

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