Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Re: Good news regarding the economy dlo

ATTENTION H0MEOWNERS -- REFINAANCE RIGHTNOW!!! Consolidate your bills, slash montly mortggage payments and experience huge savings. ...oops, sorry about that. Sometimes my junk email gets past the filter. They're getting smarter!

So much news to get to... My man M. Night is flogging his latest auteuring Lady in the Water on my man Jon's show, The Daily Show. All I know is, the commercials are at least ground-breaking: there's a woman doing the announcing in the commercial! In your face, LaFontaine!

Meanwhile, as if you needed more evidence that TV is the new Movies ... Movie Theater, what have you, you get what I'm trying to say; thank you very much, Jerry Bruckheimer! Bet all those critics are kicking themselves now for panning Bad Boys 2! Anywho, James Woods takes it to the Small Screen, and brings it big time to a new show called Shark. Hey, who wouldn't be tired of slumming in films like The Virgin Suicides and Another Day in Paradise and ... True Crime? It's time to be seen again! Incidentally, in the show, Shark, he plays a former defense attorney turned Federal prosecutor named, uh ... Sebastian Shark. That's all I have to say about that.

In other commercial news, Nick Lachey's got a big Screw You to the new Daisy Duke running like hotcakes on my beloved Comedy Central, for one. Yes, it's an ad for a product called Clix, from the makers of Axe and Tag body spray. A little something for all those guys in traction now, from getting tackled by all those girls who smelled the body spray. The guys are a little older now, a little wiser, walking with a cane or crutches, but still want the ego boost. Now they just want to be noticed, not tackled. Surely our Nicky's not gone out to pasture on us already? We need you, Nicky! The War of the Sexes is still on! Us men have got next to nothing left!...

What else? Well, Brad Garrett finally breaks the Raymond curse with his new show, 'Til Death. Just as Freaks and Geeks shattered the illusion of High School, 'Til Death shatters the illusion of the happy marriage. Wow! Holy Originality, Batman!

Commercials may just be the new Movie Star launching pad, just as a stool in Schwab's was once so long ago. The dude what plays an iMac in them iMac commercials is the star of a new movie, Accepted. And I mean the STAR! Not the bland love interest that draws you into Dodgeball. Not more Ancillary Character falderal of the Jeepers Creepers saga. THE Star. Of Accepted, which is a PG-13 Animal House, or Old School if you like, except now they're creating their own college. Nice to know the same old jokes apply, though, huh? Hoorah for the internet! Also check him out in the upcoming Idiocracy, Mike Judge's next pic. I can see the ads now: "From the director of Office Space... all you bastards think THAT's a masterpiece now, right? So pony up for this you cheapskates!!!" So what's Harrison Bergeron, chopped liver?

Dang. Up too late again. Caught most of Into the Night. I get the distinct feeling Jeff Goldblum is channeling Chevy Chase. How that ladies' man didn't nab Michelle Pfeiffer I'll always know. Incidentally, you notice it says here that Nick Lachey's favourite actress is Michelle... Nice try, Nickie, but that Clix crap's not gonna work on that one. David E. Kelley might not have a hit show on TV right now, but you're gonna need more than man perfume to drive a wedge between him and his lady. And their two kids.
And on that note, g'night!

No comments: