Sunday, July 08, 2007

Do the Robo-Boogie! (Zero, zero, one one...)

And yes, as expected, the ad campaign paid off. And the word on the street is, this is the best Michael Bay film since the R-rated version of Pearl Harbor! It is Transformers, and it kicked ass with 153 million dollars. See, Die Hard? THAT's how you do a Wednesday release!
Now, in case all the expensive Transformers effects don't lure you to the cinema, how about Megan Fox? Oh, they're pulling out all the stops now! Thank god for Maxim magazine, a William Morris publication. Casting just got a whole lot easier! You know, Spielberg, you could learn a thing or two from Mr. Bay!

After that, it's pretty much the same as last week, except for the entry of License to Wed at #4, and the disappearance of Pirates of the Caribbean 3. Oh, why aren't the Christians happy? We got a serious discussion of the sanctity of marriage at #4, and the story of Noah at #5. What more do you want? A Left Behind TV movie? A Left Behind Channel?? Does the top 10 have to be all VeggieTales? Oh, right, they're still pissed off that Mel Gibson's snuff film didn't sweep the Oscars. Savor the small victories, guys. You got Warner Faith, right?
Well, that's about it for the Box Office News. Besides, there are bigger fish to fry in the world at large. In Gossip news, Larry David was overheard at Canter's screaming about how Laurie's not getting half of the Seinfeld money. Or the Curb Your Enthusiasm money. Now, I'm no divorce attorney, but don't part on such a sour note! Compromise! Let her have the Sour Grapes money.

And of course the big news that's already blown over is the commuting of Scooter Libby's jail time. That night, after he got the good news, Scooter had a dream that he was at George Clooney's old timey-casino in Vegas hanging out with Haldeman and Ehrlichman. They both agreed that Scooter was a lightweight. Or was that Chuck Colson? Yeah, must've been Colson. Oh well, guess we're not all fortunate to find religion, eh, Chucky?

Despite all of this, our fearless leader, George W. Bush, enjoys a 26% approval rating. Some friends and I were speculating: who is this 26 percent, and what will it take to change their mind? The usual suspects cropped up: trailer parks, lobotomies, three-star generals and higher, Georgia GEDs, but it just hit me now, as it usually does once the conversation happened a couple days ago. It's the genius of Karl Rove! He's taken cemetery lists from all across the country, and rigged it so that all the dead people in America support Dubya! That explains the 26 percent! The Silent Majority strikes again. Good work, Rovey, have another eggy on me, ya ol' chubbychaser, you!

All right, that's about it for this week's B.O. report / Hollywood Insider report. Keep it real and keep it lit... something like that.

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