Monday, July 23, 2007

I'm just wild about Chuck & Larry, and Chuck & Larry's wild about...

You get the idea. Well, I had quite an education this weekend, full of flicks and full of laughs. Now, I don't know much about sports, including baseball, but I seem to have a special place in my brain for the likes of, say, Todd Marinovich and the like. So after getting quite an earful of A-Rod's less-than-sportsmanlike antics, I couldn't help but think that once Dubya becomes Baseball Commish in Summer 2009, I get the feeling that A-Gon's gonig to fall by the wayside, and hard. There's only room for one Beaner in Dubya's entourage, friends. Now, Baseball Commissioner is just a ceremonial position, but I and my friend couldn't help but agree that Dubya'll fuck that up too!

Which brings us to this week's Box Office. Now while (I now pronounce you) Chuck & Larry doesn't boast as many sports cameos as, say, Anger Management, or as many Oscar-winning co-stars, it is this weeks #1 hit, surprising many in the biz as it made Harry Potter its b'atch! Just barely, though. Some are demanding a recount, according to the news. Hah! The news. What a laugh. In the meantime, Sandler, it's time to run those special TV spots: #1 movie in America. Pretty cool! Don't have to use the "#1 Comedy in America" spots this week. Maybe next week when The Simpsons Movie arrives to stomp some ass. (Already in the Top 250! I love it!!!!)

Harry Potter at #2... No. I'm just too offended to comment any further, except to say what's been in the back of my head since #3: What if they gave a new Harry Potter movie and nobody came?

Meantime, Hairspray brings up the rear in #3 with a resounding 27 and a half million Samolians! Zowee! Booger-naut! These are July 4-esque figures!... or are they? I can't remember the last time the top 3 movies shared the top 100 million so equitably, and shame on me for that. See, this isn't such an easy job, don't'cha think? Hey, you keep this up, Hairspray, and Travolta can get a second plane!

Meanwhile, Transformers is at #4, but it's almost caught up with Pirates 3! I saw Jerry Bruckheimer on some movie channel, and I swear he's been hanging around Spielberg too much, 'cuz he's starting to act like ol' Spiel-y! Either that, or Spielberg is channeling Don Simpson; probably not, though.

Rounding out the top 5... You know, the news is so info-tainted, they don't think the people can handle, say, Variety's Top 50! The Hollywood-Insider-ification of all of America is sorely lacking. We'll get a man on Mars before that! Meantime, enjoy these days because someday Pixar will be such an industry they'll have a film come out every 5 weeks, setting the record for a studio having a film in the top 10 all year. Until that day comes, at #5 it's Pixar's latest, Ratatouille, and the only bad thing about this is that it's going to make Patton Oswalt's ego inflate endlessly. Oh well, I always figured he'd go mainstream sooner than, say, Jim Norton, or any of the rest of the Boston comedy crowd.


As for the rest, well, to be perfectly honest, I am reminded of my favourite star map book of my youth: Donald Menzel's Field Guide to the Stars and Planets, and I believe it was Star Map 88 that said the area around the Southern Pole Star was "devoid of stars". Which brings me to #6 to #10. Not much to comment on. Die Hard 4's probably not going to make it to 200 million, but it's at least making more than Hostage. Oh, snap! L2W, yawn. 1408, yawn. BA2, aka Evan Almighty, is almost at 100 million, but it's made about 9,000,000,000 EU in Vatican City alone! (about $300,000 american dollars) Hurrah, globalization! And The 40 year old Virgin part 2 is almost at 150 million! Guess that means we can expect the completion of the Judd Apatow trilogy in 2009; after that, Judd, better getcha self a brand new bag: look what happened to Hot Fuzz! :)

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