Sunday, August 03, 2008

Swing Vote, Sweet Chariot...

Welp, I was planning on finding a nice still of... which one? Something from a Rob Cohen flick in honor of his just barely making #1 helming something that isn't his own franchise to be, but I figured, what the hell. Time to put my new fangled statistical knowledge to use. Please note the handy bar charts to the right. As you can see, figure 1 is this week's totals of our ever loving Top 10, and figure 2 is how much they made.
Notice how neck and neck Batman Begins 2 and The Mummy 3 are at #1 and #2 respectively, well into the 40 million dollar range. But then, there's this huge drop off! And we drop down to Step Brothers at #3 with a paltry 16.3 million in the bank this week. But it's all good, because they can still run the "#1 comedy in America" ads on TV. A bit disingenuous for my taste; to me, The Mummy 3 is the #1 comedy this week, but you gotta give it to Will Ferrell. At least Step Brothers isn't biting the big one like Semi-Pro did.
As for the rest of Figure 1, well, it gently slopes downward as we see how the rest of the films in the Top 10 scraped up all the box office crumbs. All those families who already saw Wall-E going to Space Chimps. No, the only really impressive showing is Journey to the Center of the Earth which, by God, is clinging to the center of the Top 10 with all its fingernails and toenails. Eric Brevig, your directing career ain't over, buddy! And I have a feeling Brendan Fraser's going to get top dollar for his next feature, whatever it may be. Maybe a Roger Ramjet movie. We're way overdue for that one.
Checking out Figure 2 all too briefly, we see that of course The Dark Knight kicks ass in both categories. You know, the Wall Street Journal reports that TimeWarner is expecting to make 800 million dollars off the latest escapades of the Caped Crusader. Well, you're halfway there, guys! And for those of you who're rabid fans of Iron Man, I'm sure Variety will give you the full scoop because it's probably still in the Top 50.
...oh, according to IMDb it's in the 300 range with Indiana Jones, so never mind. Our fledglings at #7 and #8 are just barely leaving the nest just over the 200 million dollar hump. But any way you slice it or dice it, Swing Vote is performing poorly. In fact, you might use the word ... PATHETIC!!!!! But in all seriousness let me just say this about Swing Vote. Frasier is so good in it, I thought he was Fred Thompson for a second there. I'd go see Swing Vote, but Dane Cook doesn't have a role in it. I mean, what gives, Costner? He was in Mr. Brooks with you, right? It's not like Dane was busy or anything! You could of given him the part of the Democratic challenger! Wouldn't have that been fitting somehow, dontcha think?

No comments: