Sunday, November 22, 2009

American ly... as in lycanthropy

I think I'm on to something here, but I need to find my copy of Animal House for better proof. Somehow it slipped out of my three boxes of DVDs.
Anyway, I know I shouldn't be, but I'm kinda glad Paranormal Activity finally left the Top 10 this week. Maybe because of the implications of the various movie makers' unions involved, or in the case of that film, NOT involved. It's just a bedroom and a camera for 90 minutes! No, a far better gimmick this week is that damn Twilight sequel that finally came out. Shame on the 2012 people. They spent anywhere from 200 to 260 million dollars, and look where it got 'em! Twilight cost 50 million, and it's already posting Dark Knight-esque numbers! And at 130 minutes, it's epic-esque. Now, there are some naysayers out there who use this as yet another lightning rod for the downfall of American culture. They say, look at where this country's headed, when Twilight's #1 and Sarah Palin's book... well, Sarah Palin has a book. Incidentally, I think on the Curb Your Enthusiasm finale, Elaine missed a bet by not dressing up as Sarah, but that's just the jealousy talking, of course. Then, some joker left a review of Twilight on my beloved IMDb saying, "What kind of a message does this send to young girls?" They go on to say that the message is for girls to stand by and fawn while a guy fixes his motorcycle. First of all, that's just dishonest and has no credibility as far as I'm concerned. They can do that and watch Twilight at the same time! And second, girls know quality when they see it. Sure, they're probably not going to stand by fawning if you're a chess club nerd playing against another chess club nerd. If a vampire dude saves your life from getting crushed by a minivan, you stand by that man! Incidentally, how can he go out in the daytime? I thought vampires couldn't do that. No, he's probably a hot young industrialist vampire who's discovered the fountain of youth AND how to walk around in the daytime. The message is: tweak the legends just enough to get away with it. And don't just write one book! Write four! Make a series out of it! Apparently, there's twelve Cirque du Freak books, but we saw how that went. Guess they'll just get one movie out of that series.
What else? Two other debuts this week. First, The Blind Side. Sandra's Oscar movie this year. She made you laugh twice, now it's time to cry. Then, Planet 51. I dunno. I grow weary of all these Pixar clones, and even the Pixar movies. But that's me. I'm just a jaded sophisticate. Gotta run!

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