Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Auteur Watch - Francis Veber

Awright, on to the next auteur... ooh! I just thought of another good movie idea for Richard Kelly. Hey, Richard Kelly, what next? How about a guy who has the power to actually set people's pants on fire when he says to them "Liar, liar, pants on fire!" It writes itself! And don't make it another damn 80s period piece. Set it in 2008, the last days of the Dubya presidency. Make it about how he gets really REALLY close to Dubya, but the Secret Service gets wise to him and... no, no, that's all you get for free. ¶ You know, these days, you gotta be able to come up with a list of three things on the spot, or else people won't like you. That, and interesting, uplifting anecdotes that don't smack of the 700 Club. In lieu of that, however, the short list of French cinema titans: Emanuelle Beart, Valerie Allain from that French language series, Claude Berri, Luc Besson... and of course, the king of them all, Francis Veber. The man who single-handedly ruined American cinema in the 80s with his relentless adaptations. The Man With One Red Shoe comes to mind. That was his, right? ...hoh, yeah.
I'm just going to go ahead and assume the 1980s were his favorite decade. Gotta keep things short this week. Oh, but he didn't just inspire American movies. He actually got to direct a couple in his heyday! Specifically, Three Fugitives and Out on a Limb (1992). For some reason, I keep thinking Shirley MacLaine's in that one, too. I still can't believe that she and Warren Beatty are brother and sister! I'm going to go out on my own damn limb here. Oh, they're so old school. Maybe it's just me, but they both seem equally ashamed of that fact. And sorry, Martin Short, but Three Fugitives is a disaster. I think I've seen it about 1.5 times, but it's ultimately just too trying, and not one we've returned to again and again for purposes of amusement. Clifford, yes; Three Fugitives, no.
Okay, I better cut this short. I've made Dad suffer enough with my incessant typing. He's trying to loudly snore in peace here, for God's sake!

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