Monday, December 31, 2012

Short Reviews - December 2012

I KNEW I was forgetting something!  Happy New Year everyone, if you're in to that sort of thing...

Witless Protection - Charles Robert Carner was the screenwriter of Gymkata.  Who's director now, bitch?

Amos & Andrew - E. Max Frye was the screenwriter of Something Wild.  Who's director now, bitch?

Killing Them Softly - With economic metaphors

Black Rock - Who's the director now, Duplasses?

Body Heat - Lawrence Kasdan worked on the screenplay of The Empire Strikes Back and Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Who's director now, bitch?

A Place in the Sun - George Stevens was cameraman for such greats as Laurel and Hardy.  Who's director now, bitch?

Gambit - Apparently this is not being released in the United States.  The globe has stopped shrinking!

Green Lantern - Edited by Stuart Baird.  Who's NOT director now, bitch?

Geek Charming - Directed by choreographer Jeffrey Hornaday.  Who's taken a 20 year break from directing but is ONCE AGAIN director now, bitch?

Dirty Dancing (2013) - DAMN YOU, ORTEGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Nobody puts the original Dirty Dancing in a corner.

The Cheap Detective - The movie's fun and all, but Louise Fletcher's no replacement for Ingrid Bergman, I'm sorry.

Oblivion - Liked it the first time... when it was called PROMETHEUS!!!

Frame of Mind - Yeah, this is the kind of thing that would be produced and directed by a guy who's been in soap operas

This is the End - For something, but the Apatow Stock Players will surely live to work again?

Django Unchained - Spike Lee slammed the film, but I think someone's jealous!!!...

Miracle at St. Anna - Critics slammed this Spike Lee film... and hard.

Millennium (1989?) - Hot and heavy with Kris Kristofferson and Cheryl Ladd... not everyone's cup of tea.

Purple Hearts - Oh, that's not the only thing that's purple... eeeyoooooohhhhh!!!

In the Good Old Summertime - Too big of a role for Buster Keaton.  He's old enough to be Judy Garland's GRANDFATHER, for God's sake!!!!!

Meet Me in St. Louis - Now THAT'S how you celebrate Halloween!

Bugsy Malone - Remember, kids... what we do in life echoes in eternity.  I mean, you're gonna be remembered for the things that you say and do.

From Hong Kong with Love - But.. but.... Moneypenny's in it!!!

Heights - ... of hypocrisy?  A little bit!

Cheyenne - Close enough to Christy Turlington for me!!

Behind Enemy Lines - No, not that one, the 1988 one with the T-1000

Eye of the Eagle - Holy crap!  TWO Johnny Ransom movies?

Johnny Guitar - Whew... back on familiar turf

Eye of the Eagle 2 - That tears it... NOBODY makes an Eye of the Eagle without Johnny Ransom!

Django - With Franco Nero as Django

Django Unchained - With Franco Nero as... a mere Bar Patron?  For shame.

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