Monday, December 31, 2012
Short Reviews - December 2012
Witless Protection - Charles Robert Carner was the screenwriter of Gymkata. Who's director now, bitch?
Amos & Andrew - E. Max Frye was the screenwriter of Something Wild. Who's director now, bitch?
Killing Them Softly - With economic metaphors
Black Rock - Who's the director now, Duplasses?
Body Heat - Lawrence Kasdan worked on the screenplay of The Empire Strikes Back and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Who's director now, bitch?
A Place in the Sun - George Stevens was cameraman for such greats as Laurel and Hardy. Who's director now, bitch?
Gambit - Apparently this is not being released in the United States. The globe has stopped shrinking!
Green Lantern - Edited by Stuart Baird. Who's NOT director now, bitch?
Geek Charming - Directed by choreographer Jeffrey Hornaday. Who's taken a 20 year break from directing but is ONCE AGAIN director now, bitch?
Dirty Dancing (2013) - DAMN YOU, ORTEGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nobody puts the original Dirty Dancing in a corner.
The Cheap Detective - The movie's fun and all, but Louise Fletcher's no replacement for Ingrid Bergman, I'm sorry.
Oblivion - Liked it the first time... when it was called PROMETHEUS!!!
Frame of Mind - Yeah, this is the kind of thing that would be produced and directed by a guy who's been in soap operas
This is the End - For something, but the Apatow Stock Players will surely live to work again?
Django Unchained - Spike Lee slammed the film, but I think someone's jealous!!!...
Miracle at St. Anna - Critics slammed this Spike Lee film... and hard.
Millennium (1989?) - Hot and heavy with Kris Kristofferson and Cheryl Ladd... not everyone's cup of tea.
Purple Hearts - Oh, that's not the only thing that's purple... eeeyoooooohhhhh!!!
In the Good Old Summertime - Too big of a role for Buster Keaton. He's old enough to be Judy Garland's GRANDFATHER, for God's sake!!!!!
Meet Me in St. Louis - Now THAT'S how you celebrate Halloween!
Bugsy Malone - Remember, kids... what we do in life echoes in eternity. I mean, you're gonna be remembered for the things that you say and do.
From Hong Kong with Love - But.. but.... Moneypenny's in it!!!
Heights - ... of hypocrisy? A little bit!
Cheyenne - Close enough to Christy Turlington for me!!
Behind Enemy Lines - No, not that one, the 1988 one with the T-1000
Eye of the Eagle - Holy crap! TWO Johnny Ransom movies?
Johnny Guitar - Whew... back on familiar turf
Eye of the Eagle 2 - That tears it... NOBODY makes an Eye of the Eagle without Johnny Ransom!
Django - With Franco Nero as Django
Django Unchained - With Franco Nero as... a mere Bar Patron? For shame.