Thursday, April 25, 2013

Short Reviews - April 2013

Thumbs down, God!  Thumbs way down.

Ring of Fire (2013) - Trying to supersede Walk the Line, eh?  Time for Joaquin Phoenix to get weird again!

"Hannibal" - a TV series?  On NBC?  ...well, it's about damn time!  Probably won't be as fun as the 2001 movie, but why quibble?  Oh right, it got cancelled already.  That was quick!

Rabbit Every Monday - With Yosemite Sam as Elmer Fudd.  LOL.

The Dictator - With Ben Kingsley as Hamid Karzai

Gravity - Clooney and Bullock together?  Well, with the help of gravity, you better push Sandra into a pool again, George!

The Cheapest Movie Ever Made - Also one of the least reviewed.

I'm going to defer to the real experts on this one:
"Boys don't cry" is much like "One million dollar baby".. great movie but one just get BORED with SO much misfortune... over and over and over... till the lead finally dies... BORING!
Punk's Dead: SLC Punk! 2 - Punk may be dead, but sequels are forever.  I'm guessing Matthew Lillard's going to play the grown-up right-wing Christian this time, if he's lucky enough to get cast.

Also, thumbs down to me for not focusing on this.  So, here's this month's feature.  Two novelty acts that have hit their respective glass ceilings: Green Jelly and Buckner & Garcia.  Which kicks more ass?  Probably Green Jelly, of course, even though they don't seem to like their audience very much.  And I can't say as I blame them, as heavy metal audiences tend to be extremely dogmatic.  This microsecond is metal, this one isn't.  Exhausting.  But, credit where credit's due!  They're still too extreme to be included in the soundtrack to Shrek.  Maybe Hoodwinked 3 will jump on the bandwagon, who knows.  Alas, I can't bear to watch too many more of their videos, especially this one... I surprised myself!  Even I have some taste after all.  Life's too short sometimes.
As for B&G, well, I haven't found myself doing the Donkey Kong yet.  I let the Simpsons do that for me.  And I just found out that they did a song for Wreck-It Ralph.  It's on YouTube already!  Go figure.  However, they needed to consult an expert on Wreck-It Ralph to write that one.  See?  You hang around long enough, and in thirty years you get a shout out from the kids of your aging fans.  Cycle of life, baby.

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