Prepping for it on a Wednesday? Boy, I must have too much time on my hands! And so, Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane grows weary of his Animation Domination on Fox. And of being merely the voice of an animated bear. This time he's the star of a new revisionist Western that's got its sights set on Blazing Saddles, and it's called A Million Ways to Die in the West, if memory serves. And for those of you who were critical of his work as Oscar host, well, you can probably just kiss his black ass two times. For one thing, no one can top Johnny Carson or Billy Crystal, and it's not really about the host, anyway, is it? Second, sure, Seth's "We Saw Your Boobs" was infantile and juvenile, but check this out. You might remember he mentioned Charlize Theron in the song and... boom! There she is in the movie! He must've done something right, right? Meryl Streep, not so much... I forget who all he mentioned.
(Monday) On the other hand... POW! Motley Fool was right. Well, half right. They're perhaps a bit optimistic in thinking that Maleficent is going to make a billion dollars, unless you count overseas, of course. Why, China's already bootlegged about 500,000 copies of it! Halfway there. Well, Stew-Beef and Colbert... actually, just Stew-Beef... they talked about the kid of this guy. They managed to not mention what Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, aka "Joe the Plumber," said in response to the recent horrific shooting in Santa Barbara. Basically, it was that "your dead kids don't trump my Constitutional rights." I dunno. I was trying to think about anything else, I suppose. Theoretically, it's true; the dead tend not to enjoy Constitutional rights as much as the living. But what about the victims' Fourth Amendment rights? Weren't those violated, Joe? You know, the right to not be shot in their home? Okay, sure, it was a sorority house, but that's still a house in my book! Plus, they're, like, way more fun than regular homes; at least, they used to be. But don't worry, Joe. The battle to open up new collegiate markets to gun manufacturers rages on, and someday years from now, professors and students alike will gather in lecture halls, all wearing holsters and cowboy hats and at least one pistol and one assault rifle, and the professor will start the lecture with "Boy, my trigger finger's getting a little itchy today! All right, let's continue our discussion of contract law." Paradise. But that's several centuries from now. So much more work to be done.