Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Short Reviews - June 2014

Let's see if anyone notices............ .............

Blended - Adam Sandler apparently doesn't want to go back to SNL to host.... bawk bawk bawk bawk!

The Blair Witch Project - Four profane filmmakers get lost in the woods.  They should've called it Def Filmmaker Jam.

Deal - Well, I hope you're happy, filmmakers!  Now I'm no poker buff, but my friend is, and he felt betrayed.  Satisfied?  Hey, the next time you make a film about poker... SHOW THE HANDS!  SHOW THE HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

House of Cards, Season 2 - Oh, will June the 17th never come?

White Nights - I guess no one likes this movie right now.............

Happy-Go-Nutty - I don't get it.  What does Katharine Hepburn have to do with this loony, loony Screwy Squirrel cartoon?  Did she play the gates of Moron Manor or something?  I never thought I'd be coming to her defense like this and all.  Strange times we live in.

The Bellboy - Here's how memory works... well, my memory, anywho.  So we were just watching this old Twilight Zone episode, brought to you by Chesterfield Cigarettes, of course.

Twilight Zone - Season 3, Episode 25: "The Fugitive" - The character of the mother didn't seem familiar to me...............

Who's Minding the Store? - ...or does she?  That's IT!  Emily Rothgraber!  The stern hunter and seeker of elephant shells!  You might know her best as Jane Hathaway from The Beverly Hillbillies.  Classic television that I've never seen.

Okay, time for a bold experiment... See if you can guess it.

What's Up, Tiger Lily? - 80 minutes

Take the Money and Run - 85 minutes

Bananas - 82 minutes

Everything You Always Wanted To Know About... - 88 minutes

Sleeper - 89 minutes

Love and Death - 85 minutes

Annie Hall - 93 minutes

Interiors - 93 minutes

Manhattan - 96 minutes

Stardust Memories - 89 minutes

A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy - 88 minutes

Zelig - 79 minutes

Broadway Danny Rose - 84 minutes

The Purple Rose of Cairo - 82 minutes

Hannah and her Sisters - 103 minutes

Radio Days - 88 minutes

September - 82 minutes

Another Woman - 81 minutes

Crimes and Misdemeanors - 104 minutes

Alice - 102 minutes

Shadows and Fog - 85 minutes

Husbands and Wives - 108 minutes

Manhattan Murder Mystery - 104 minutes

Bullets Over Broadway - 98 minutes

Don't Drink the Water - 100 minutes

Mighty Aphrodite - 95 minutes

Everyone Says I Love You - 101 minutes

Deconstructing Harry - 96 minutes

Celebrity - 113 minutes!!!!

Sweet and Lowdown - 95 minutes

Small Time Crooks - 94 minutes

The Curse of the Jade Scorpion - 103 minutes

Hollywood Ending - 112 minutes!!

Anything Else - 108 minutes

Melinda and Melinda - 99 minutes

Match Point - 124 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scoop - 96 minutes

Cassandra's Dream - 108 minutes

Vicky Cristina Barcelona - 96 minutes

Whatever Works - 92 minutes

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger - 98 minutes

Midnight in Paris - 94 minutes

To Rome With Love - 112 minutes

Blue Jasmine - 98 minutes...that's probably enough, right?

Get Smart (2008) - Ah, God, how I love blurry videotape.  The blurrier, the better.  No wonder Hollywood doesn't use tripods anymore!  A little bit of shaky cam, and the blurry videotape can handle it!  Also, it helps to differentiate your film from the films of the last century.  Like how people now use a zoom lens for no reason.  Who knew that the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie was a trendsetter, cinematographically speaking?

Joe - Nicolas Cage's Mud

The Interview - Kim Jong Un threatens to go to war over latest Seth Rogen / James Franco comedy... publicity achieved!

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes - ...anyone else tired of these apes movies?


Miguel G. said...

Your Short Reviews are pretty funny. How about doing Reviews of Shorts?

I am an Indie Filmmaker in LA and I would love to share some of my work with you. If you are interested email me to


The Movie Hooligan said...

Tell you what. I'll meet you halfway if you send me a link. I take it you have stuff on the YouTubes?