Sunday, December 31, 2017

And Speaking of All the Money...

Welp, the only debut this week is All the Money in the World.  Debuting in seventh place, it seems that people are tiring of profiles of the super rich.  Was "The Simple Life" so long ago?  At least, if Kevin Spacey were still in it, people would get a chance to go out and yell at the movie screen for two hours!  Might be therapeutic.  But ultra-powerful film director Ridley Scott had to do the right thing, and redo the whole movie with Christopher Plummer instead.  Bit of a trade off.  But Plummer's done impressions before: Mike Wallace, F. Lee Bailey... doing an impression of Kevin Spacey doing an impression of J. Paul Getty's not much of a stretch.
But alas, a remake of Citizen Kane was not popular this weekend, despite the ad blitz on various media outlets.  I tell you, Marky Mark must be kicking himself for being a part of a big, stinky bomb like that.  Why didn't he just do that sequel to Contraband that his manager TOLD him to do in the first place?  No, the big winner was once again the latest installment of Star Wars, followed damn close this weekend by the Jumanji sequel/reboot, followed by Pitch Perfect 3, followed by a P. T. Barnum bio-pic, followed by a re-envisioning of Ferdinand the Bull... is there nothing original?  Does everything, and I mean everything have to be remade?  In 12-bit color in Real3D for 4K Ultra-HD Blu-Ray resolution?  We'll spare the 100GB vs. 47GB discussion for the message boards, but I mean really... are there no new ideas under the sun?  We just saw the first episode of "Stranger Things" tonight.  Kind of an "X-Files" meets "Super 8" just barely in the 1980s.  Oh, and with a little "Freaks and Geeks" thrown in for good measure.  I guess we're not moving on to Episode 2: The Wedgie-ing of the Kid Who Looks Like a Young Patton Oswalt.  We're still trying to binge watch Season 4 of "Silicon Valley," for Gawd'z zake!  It's due back at the library on the 9th!
So everything under the sun worth watching... and by watching, I mean flipping past on the Netflix list... is going to get remade.  But you know one thing that might not get remade?  Jailhouse Rock.  One of my roommates pointed that out for me; gave me permission to post it on Facebook.  Thought I'd just save it for you, my faithful readers, instead.  Sorry about being so late today, incidentally.  I was finally able to transfer power over to another computer!  Yay for me.  You know what else won't get remade?  Clambake... wow!  Guess I don't know Elvis as well as I thought I did.  Those two didn't make his IMDb Top 4.  Of course, with a guy like Elvis, really, his IMDb Top 4 should say "Known for... well, for being Elvis, for Gawd'z zake!  F... Frickin' ELVIS, man!"  Sorry, it's hard for me to keep it clean when I'm blogging about the king.  Some Like it Hot probably can't be remade, either.  All of the Norma Jean Desmond catalogue is probably safe; apparently they got it right the first time.  How about Jean Harlow in Bombshell or Libeled Lady?  How does that work anyway?  Do Hollywood screenwriters have a bunch of these type of scripts in their library just waiting for the right kind of potent sex symbol to come along and play the part?  Or do they kind of write them on the fly just after these people quickly rise to the top?  Thinly-veiled autobiographical versions of themselves?
...aww, did my roommate take... I mean, borrow my headphones?  Oh well, I didn't need them that much, I guess.  I think I still have one or two pairs of earbuds left... but as you might know, I do hate those.  I blame them for my body's overproduction of earwax, and general ear malaise in general.  Nothing to sue over, mind you, but I'd rather have a slight pain in the edges of my ears than the much worse things that earbuds seem to cause.  Guess I didn't know how to end that last paragraph.  Welp, I'm going to celebrate the new year by going to bed early.  Gotta get ready for the paying job on Tuesday.

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