Thursday, February 22, 2007

hello pvoogttkdedllcrmkaen

And now, another MRH exclusive: it's time for the Maxim Magazine review of Dr. Strangelove:

Yeah, it's a classic and all, but here's my two points: 1) I don't like black and white movies, and 2) I'm still trying to figure out this one plot point. At the beginning of the film, George C. Scott has a choice: leave and go start World War 3, or stay and have hot sex with his hotter secretary, and he chooses World War 3? Is he gay? If that's the way it's going to be, maybe humanity deserves to die in a thermonuclear holocaust.

Okay, on to the box office tallies. I guess Ghost Rider's no surprise; I just wonder what percentage of that 52 million total was spent on advertising... 50 percent? 60? Meanwhile, Bridge to Terabithia is yet another one of those complete surprises coming out of some left field I'm obviously not in touch with.. What is it? Nickelodeon? You Tube? My Space? Someday I shall find out!

Meantime, Norbit still spins strong, this time at #3, and unlike Stomp the Yard it's managed to stay out of the IMDb's Bottom 100, which is more than I can say for... Pluto Nash? Does Murphy have a film in the bottom 100? Well, if Best Defense doesn't qualify, nothing will!

Number 4 brings us Music and Lyrics, and so romance lives on another day. Which brings us to Daddy's Little Girls... uh, excuse me! Shouldn't that be Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls? Must've been a Wednesday release. Don't despair, Tyler, you'll get to #1 again. You may just have to settle for another Madea project to do it, but we can't pick our fate, now, can we?

Meanwhile, Breach debuts at #6. Oh sure, they thought the one-word title movies would reign forever. There will be quite a spate of them throughout the year, but with titles like Ghost Rider and Terabithia, you can't help but think maybe you should've had another word in the title. Oh well. C'est la vie. Maybe we'll remember you for next year's oscars, maybe not...

Hannibal still falling at #7. Does this still mean we'll see Anthony Hopkins at some point in Hannibal 5? Why not? I just found out Shrek 4 is in the works.. Stranger things have happened.

Because I said so's magic must be wearing off, because now it's at #8. I don't think they said for it to do THAT!

Night at the Museum is having that proverbial cigarette in bed at #9 with almost 250 million in the bag. Fockers 3, Madagascar 2, here we come!

And finally, horror is just barely not dead at the box office this week with The Messengers at #10. Apparently, the tag line of the film is as follows: "There is evidence to suggest that children are highly susceptible to paranormal phenomena. They see what adults cannot. They believe what adults deny. And they are trying to warn us. " Uh, ever heard of The Sixth Sense? Duh! Of course, Haley Joel didn't really have much to warn us about, but I swear he spent that whole movie with his feet in a bucket of ice water. I swear it. But he's a true Southern gentlemen, because he's not one to Soak and Tell.

Well, that's it for the box office totals this week. If you need more information, check out the latest issue of Daily Variety, where you can read the Top 50 of the week! Oh sure, it's interesting and educational and all, at least at first, but once you get to about #25 on the list, well, it gets downright depressing by that point. Almost as depressing as, say, the saga of Zyzzyx Road.

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