Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Hey, Colbert! Check & Mate!

The cover of the most latest Newsweek has Paris Hilton looking slightly different, with her arm around Britney Spears. While I was trying to figure out who's the more degraded of the two I noticed some of the words on the cover, and their main point was of what they call 'The Girls Gone Wild Effect'. Oh, sure, it's a sign of the internet's lowering our cultural bar, but I still say it's better than the CSI Effect some have talked about, which means making a smarter, more thorough criminal element, which I think is what we don't want.
And speaking of astronaut diapers, I am forced to bring the hammer down on Mr. Colbert once again. First it was for fathering Mary Cheney's baby, but I guess it all worked out because they've made a Letterman-esque marriage arrangement. And besides, like Harry Whittington, it doesn't really affect anyone's lives. But now he's really gone too far. By not recusing himself from attacking Cartoon Network and Aqua Teen Hunger Force, he's crossed too many moral and ethical boundaries to count, not to mention biting the large corporate hand at whose pleasure he serves. Does Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law ring a bell? Guilty by association! Just ask Keith Crofford, a low-level producer of both shows. Guilty further by the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon Law.
Well, there you have it, Colbert lovers. I don't know how much more proof you need. This is your beloved crusader against Big Hollywood. Nothing but a rank-and-file voice over artist! Are you not outraged? And I haven't even gotten into Ace and Gary yet. Now, I'm from the old, old school that says that acting is a form of witchcraft, but there are plenty out there who are suspicious of an actor man who 'pretends' to be a gay character. The South, mostly, but there are some of us in the North as well. So how about it, Stephen? If that's your real name... Isn't it time to face the judge and jury at long last? Care to explain yourself on at least one of my points? The clock is ticking, and the ball is in your court... :(

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