Friday, February 15, 2008

Fool's Gold - Brought to you by Sudoku Foot Pads

Well, as long as I can't sleep... Had a horrible nightmare about the toilet in the living room. I'll leave it at that, but in the background was the latest and greatest Will Ferrell movie, only it seemed to be directed by Peter Greenaway, if you can further imagine that.
Anyway, this week's Box Office is much like last week's box office. All those films they promoted the hell out of just didn't seem to make it at all! Where the hell's In Bruges? That was #3 on the Ad Budget. I haven't seen Commercial One for either 27 Dresses or that Miley Cyrus debacle! WTF! Wzaaup w/dat, homie? And on top of that, someone seems to have dipped my modem in pancake batter, it's slower than dial-up! This will not stand. I'm one of those eccentric CEOs you read about with an adult-size play pen in my office, and I cannot abide a slow modem. Not in this day and age.
Anyway, as expected, Fool's Gold is #1 with a bullet. Now, I know, all you rockhounds out there are asking me, why didn't they just call it Pyrite? Also known as Fool's Gold! Well, that's why I'm the Movie Hooligan and you are who you are! It's okay, I'm not here to judge. Pyrites of the Caribbean? The Pyrites who don't do any Box Office? Nothing? That's right, nothing.
Meanwhile at #2 it's Tyler Perry's Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins. Man, I just don't know what's better anymore, the original video version, or the version currently in theaters. But don't worry, Tyler's already hard at work on his fall 2008 theatrical release, tentatively called Tyler Perry's Who Cares? It's Tyler Perry! Or rather, not hard enough at work. He's still trying to get House of Payne to not look so blurry. Why does it look like the network taped it at the 6 hour speed and is playing back that copy of it? I the only one who remembers VCRs? Okay, skip it.
As for the rest of this box office, it's pretty much the same lot of misfits. Of note, Juno has crossed the 118 million mark. Suck on that, Dewey Cox! And remember, girls, have the baby and the perky foster parents will show up! Eat that, Planned Parenthood!
That's all I got...

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