Now now, bitter grapes. I mean, this is only the best box office weekend in history! And I'm just letting it all slip away, so time to get on the case. But I'm going to savor it this time. Break it into two installments. Now, normally when I do that I'll split the top 10 into 1-5 and 6-10, but since 1 thru 4 is all newbies, why not just do 5 to 10 for starters. At #5 it's Tropic Thunder, and if I were Judd Apatow I'd be furiously taking notes. "Note to self: TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT!" No please, we want to see another Superbad clone or Seth Rogen naked again. The market's insatiable!
See, they worked together on Cable Guy and, ... ah, fu... skip it. At #6 we got... whadda we got? Oh yeah, The House Bunny. Now, normally with a film like this we'd be saying, oh, it's closing in on the 100 million dollar mark. This time, 50 million will just have to do. I guess people just don't want to contemplate their own mortality, in this case it has to do with a Playboy bunny getting kicked out of Hef's little Garden of Eden there in Beverly Hills, or wherever the Playboy mansion is. Say it isn't so, Hef!
Next, The Dark Knight at #7. Looks like it's not going to post Titanic numbers (600 million). Maybe if they make the next one even darker, if I can use that phrase in mixed company. Get Hershey's to sell dark chocolate bars in the shape of the new Batman shape as a tie-in.
At #8, Bangkok Dangerous. Or as they call it in the South, Baghdad Dangerous. Seriously, Nic, what were you thinking? Are you making up for not getting cast as Lee Harvey Oswald in JFK?
Traitor slips to #9 after holding at #5 for two weeks in a row. I don't know what to say except that it's another crushing defeat for the Soderbergh Rat Pack... I know! I'll get on it, I'll get on it, quit asking me what it means.
At #10, the reboot of Death Race. Would it have killed the budget to get the original Frankenstein? ... they DID? I'm getting a wire from the AP. It's as of yet unconfirmed. Oh, they probably Gump'd in some footage of him from the original. Give 'em hell, Kwai Chang!