Tuesday, September 09, 2008


There's just no other single word for it. I'm just so disgusted. I even heard about it second hand. I guess that a movie with Nicolas Cage opens at 20 million, when in actuality it's 7.78! What, are we counting pennies now? On the bright side, it's the only newbie this week. Sorry, College, you're still expelled.
So we got, what? We got a tight group here. No more Step Brothers in the mix, but Judd Apatow's not totally un-represented with Mango Chutney Express rounding out the top 10 at #10. On the plus side, I think it turned a profit. AND! Rumor has it that Apatow's going to be a part of the up-and-coming Ghostbusters 3. Somehow I always knew all that ectoplasmic residue had sexual undertones to it. Thank God Apatow's finally going to reveal the truth to us.
So I guess we're going backwards, is it? At #9 it's the Sarah Palin story, Mamma Mia! Yes, apparently they're already turning her into a female Dick Cheney and keeping her from the press. Good luck, Elaine!
At #8, Disaster Movie. Living up to its name in terms of box office. I think I said that already, snarkmeister that I am, but at least this time the film's turned a profit. I'm just a-feared they're going to run out of genres! And besides, aren't we a little overdue for Date Movie 2? Or Not Another Teen Movie 2? Oh wait, different filmmakers.
#7? Death Race. Well, no one's recommended it yet, but the way this box office is going, I guess Jason Statham's the new Bruce Willis. Work up a Joisey accent, Jace.
At #6, it's Blade Runner. No, wait, it's Akira. What other movie is famous for its (shots of) tall buildings? Babylon A.D. maybe? Ah! That's it! I'm still waiting for Hannibal, Mark Antony! ...the elephant Hannibal, not the face-eater guy.
Rounding out the top 5, it's still Traitor. I think it was that last week, too! Well, consistency's not a bad thing at all. Come to think of it, #4 and #3 are also the same from last week! Howzabout that? Man, Babylon A.D. must really be stinking up the place to get unceremoniously shoved past the threesome like that. I'm just saying. I mean, the explosion in front of the chick's face, Matrix-style and all, I mean it's cool, but not sick. Sometimes I wonder what our youth think about all this. See, they don't realize what a golden era of special effects they live in. Well, maybe they do. Kids are awfully hip these days. Are they as stricken with cinema ennui as I am when it comes to these mega-blockbusters?

So that leaves us with Ben Stiller at #2, slipping from three weeks in a row at #1. Well, these things don't last forever, you know. Except Home Alone 1. Twelve weeks at #1! I think that's still a record. Bought John Hughes that nose job, it did! As for #1, well, what can you say? Ol' Nicolas Coppola's still got it. Alas, it seems he won't have time to rest on his laurels. If you take a look at his IMDb entry, as I just did, you see he's got TEN films in the works! Someone should write a book about how a thing like that happens nowadays. I mean, even Michael Curtiz never made that many movies! ...did he?
And so, on that open-ended note, I must blog out. Or, sign out from the blog. Si-og? Man, that's sick. Well, wish me luck, for I have to move a sleeping cat from my bed. I was kinda missing the fleas there for a while. 'night, Mother.

No comments: