Every once in a while an important Southern movie comes along to us big-city types way up North, teaching all of us damn Yankees a thing or two about life. But while we're waiting for that movie to come along, we've got something here in the meantime called 'The Help.' Hollywood is powerless to compete. I mean, if even Planet of the Apes can't beat this thing... from the director of Pretty Ugly People, Tate Taylor, comes The Help... I can't help but mention. Maybe I'm just a closet racist myself, but the dude's name is too cute to be a serious director. And he probably wears jeans. Right, Spike Lee? ...see, Shelton once told a girl in jeans that she couldn't be a director, mostly because she was wearing jeans. And that girl's name was... Troy Beyer! Seriously, though, I don't know who the girl was, and so far the Internet's been powerless to corroborate the story... ah, skip it.
Sorry, folks, gotta cut this short. I know, tragic loss, right? The other debuts were: El Mariachi's latest, a Conan the Barbarian reboot in 3D, a Fright Night reboot in 3D... if there was just some way to make Robert Rodriguez an honorary 80s icon... and something called One Day, a rom-com NOT featuring shirtless Matthew McConaughey and Goldie Hawn's kid! Go figure. As God is my witness, the genre will always be fresh.