Monday, August 01, 2011

Short Reviews - July 2011

Sorry, folks, another short, harried month for me. But, given the recent unfortunate, untimely death of Amy Winehouse, there's only one question in my mind: is Gina Gershon too old to play Amy Winehouse? I'll bet Gina doesn't think so! Now, I hate to comment on facebook dialogues behind their back, but someone was pointing out that Amy Winehouse was getting all the attention, and yet no one was paying attention to the recent horrific events in Norway. I think it might be because Amy Winehouse's death, we can understand. Norway, not so much. But I'm sure all the right-wingers out there are claiming a victory in the war on peace. Right wings have come to Canada, etc. But where are they going to find someone as dynamic as Charlton Heston, and get a new man to go around the globe wherever gun-related tragedy strikes, hold up a rifle and say "I've got just five words: From my cold, dead hands!"? I'm thinking Chuck Norris. You know, when Chuck Norris does push-ups... ah, skip it.

What else? Oh, right. More important than any of this, staying on the bleeding edge of slang and shortened words, documentary is now "doco." Apparently "docu" just didn't trend well in focus group testing. And "doc" is still short for doctor. That's sick.

Fierce Creatures - They tried to warn us about Murdoch!

The Game - Still deservedly negle, lost somewhere in that giant gap between Se7en and Fight Club

Beer - This is the first and last time that the movie Beer will ever be featured on a Top 25 list.

Beerfest - Oh, c'mon, Maxim magazine! Don't be such uppity, up-turned-nose film snobs. A damn classic.

Friends with Benefits - Didn't this film come out in January?

The Oxbow Incident - You got to go to that lonesome valley

O Brother Where Art Thou? - You got to go to that lonesome valley

The Champ - Scientists have determined that this movie is the ultimate tearjerker. Personally, I can't get enough of Jon Voight dying in a movie. Still, just what is it about Ricky Schroeder appearing in movies that no one wants to see? Where or what is the correlation? Take The Earthling, for example. Man, but do the waterworks start flowing for me after the RV crashes into the canyon.

Our Idiot Brother - Can't get much funnier than the title, but it probably is, even though it doesn't appear to be an Apatow production. The plot synopsis describes the idiot brother as an 'idealist.' There you have it, folks: idealism is the new idiocy.

Cash Cab - I was going to say, Finally! A game show that even MGM can afford to put on the air... guess the guy was texting and driving at the same time or something. A teachable moment for us all, really.

Furry Vengeance - Brendan! Dude! Hit the treadmill!

K-19: The Widowmaker - See, what these "green energy" types will never understand... nuclear is exciting! And it GLOWS green!

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