Short Reviews - February 2012

And NO, I'm not calling it Febru-any...


Vision Quest - PONICSAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

One for the Money - Hey, how about...

Two for the Money - Ernie Kovacs hosting "Three to Get Ready"?

Act of Valor - Might not be an act of cinematic greatness... just saying

Safe House - Finally! The situation that Mr. Manfredjinsinjin talked about during the Cold War!

Night After Night - MARTYN!!!!!!!!!!! You leave Oklahoma alone!

The Lonely Lady - SASDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Vow - SUCSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

September Eleven 1683 - Go onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn....................................

That's My Boy - Aww. I liked the previous title better: "I Hate You, Dad." I guess it didn't test well. And frankly, in this post 9-11 world, Sandler should've known better. Does he really want to make Giuliani cry?

Anger Management - BOYKEWICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Movie 43 - The sketch comedy movie is dead! When will people wake up and realize that?

Jackass 3D - I stand corrected.

Some Mother's Son - This came up while searching for Some More of Samoa

Tis Pity She's a Whore - Who comes up with these great, iconic titles?

Some Came Running - Isn't there a film called that?

Doctor Death: Seeker of Souls - HOWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Island (1998) - NOWRASTEH!!!! Just remember, you can't spell 'treason', 'thawers', 'hasten' or 'anthers' without Nowrasteh. Personal story time: I think I once delivered mail to the house of the cinematographer of this movie. He was living in Seattle at the time, and was rather unhappy with the service... am I going to get retroactively fired now?

The Island (2005) - My God! A scene that lasts longer than five seconds! Bay's stretching himself!

The Lonely Lady - Sasdy the director got the job because of all the Dracula pictures he did. I guess Pia Zadora's not much of a stretch in that sense.

Project X (1987) - Shock the monkey tonight... puh-leeze! CLOSED CAPTIONING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Project X (2012) - Superbad + ... Animal House?... no, The Hangover. These movie mixings don't usually turn out that well...