I thought Happy Madison's latest Here Comes the Boom was coming out next week! Anyway, I hardly liked it the first time... when it was called Warrior. Phil Meheux filmed it on a cellphone, I'm thinking, just like whoever filmed Zookeeper. Sandler is apparently not listed in the official credits list; go figure. And neither is Jack Giarraputo! Perhaps he's been reborn as Gino Falsetto. Sounds about right. Stay away from Ezio Greggio! That's real Nowheresville.
Of course, with the quick backing down of Won't Back Down, Here Comes the Boom is just the latest Dead Poets Society-esque blow to the profession of professor. No, action rules the day today at this box office. Taken 2 is #1 for two weeks in a row, and Argo debuts at #2. Time to run the ads saying it's the #1 new real-life drama in America. Plus, it's based in the early 80s! Star Wars, Pac-Man, Iranian hostages. It's all the same. Disco turns to punk, punk gets corrupted by MTV, and Reagan deals unions a mortal wound, if not the final death blow. Meanwhile, as if I needed any more proof of being out of touch with what the kids are down with, something called Sinister debuts at #3. Just took a look at the IMDb page... the found-footage horror genre lives on long after the Blair Witch. And who knows? Maybe Ethan Hawke will get Uma back after all.
And finally, debuting at #9, it's Seven Psychopaths. Did I mention that Martin McDonagh is a playwright? Well, he is! Did I mention that he directed In Bruges, also with Colin Farrell? Well, he did! Let's hope McDonagh doesn't suffer a fate similar to Joel Schumacher, another Farrell co-conspirator. Oh, almost forgot... COWBELL!!!!!