Saturday, June 01, 2013
And so, rather than see the latest end-of-the-world saga, the moviegoing public said "Meh" and went back to FF6. And to think they put a stop to the Saw franchise so early!
Of course, Will's no sore loser, and sure, he could easily demand a recount and move his latest and greatest into second place, but true movie star heroes don't do that. I mean, sure, he could buy about $2 million more in tickets to push it to #2, but he's spent enough already on that. But the numbers still don't lie: somehow, the French auteur Louis Leterrier's latest and greatest, Now You See Me, beat After Earth by 1 million smackers. Somehow, this must be Obama's fault.
It gets worse. Foreign encroachment is on both ends of the Top 10 at the box office. Debuting at #9 is something called Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani. I better make the hyperlink for this one, as I'm sure I'll never be able to find it again otherwise. See, to me, it's more of a story about how that comes in at #9 than how Will Smith's turkey gobbles at #3. Maybe M. Night Shyamalan produced both of them or something.
But Will's not the only one suffering this weekend. No one's even talking about Hangover III. Why, they can't even run the "#1 Comedy" ads anymore! They got beaten by Epic. They'll have to run the "#1 LIVE ACTION Comedy" ads, or they'd be dirty dirty liars. It's live action, but relies heavily on green screens. No, the Marvel-themed Iron Man 3 is the clear overall winner with $385 million total in the wigwam. It's doing so well, Robert Downey Jr. can afford a relapse! Oh s'z'nap... I better go. Burnt enough bridges already.