Sunday, July 28, 2013

Short Reviews - July 2013

Ah, close enough.  I don't feel like looking for an image.

Looking forward to George Romero's latest: Twitter Feed of the Dead.  Boy, those zombies really know how to compete in a 21st century world!

The Way Way Back - Oh, I hope it's based on the Wayback machine!  What was that, Hanna Barbera's Harlem Globetrotters?

Mooz-Lum - Danny's getting too old for this $#!...........

Dumb & Dumber 2 - Just got word from a Facebook ad that principal photography begins on this in September.  Then I just realized ... Holy crap!  Jeff Daniels is doing that HBO show "The Newsroom" or whatever it's called.  Maybe the Farrellys can get Aaron Sorkin to do a little ghost writing on the script!  Nah, probably too many Chayefsky-an references.

Finding Forrester - OVER THE RAINBOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meet Joe Black - OVER THE RAINBOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girl Most Likely - Oh no... this isn't another one of those Richard Curtis monstrosities, is it?

Having Babies II - With Paula Prentiss, so NO, it's not a porno.

The Bride Wore Black - Kill Gilles, Vol. Un

Paradise - Oh, Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith... why canna you make-a nice-a movie about two people in love?  Too bad Nicholas Sparks wasn't invented yet!

Shoot to Kill - Good double bill with Last of the Dogmen.  Make it a Tom Berenger night!

Out For a Kill - To call it the worst Steven Seagal movie would be kind.  Let's just say it's comfortably average.  Somewhere between Out For Justice and Hard to Kill, of course.  Seagal himself apparently didn't find it that interesting, as he dubbed in most of his lines!

The Two Jakes - LEBOWSKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heathers - Seen by Diablo Cody

"Alfred Hitchcock Presents" - Saw the one with Zalman King.  I'm assuming he was in only one.  It didn't make any of the papers I read, but he died last year at the age of 69.  See?  The punchline writes itself!

Paranoia - Wait... who was that old, old man in it?  HARRISON FORD??!!!?!!  Ouch...

The Beast - With Erick Avari in his last serious role... have I done that one already?

Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story - I never realized how much Bruce Lee's life was like a bad Bruce Lee movie!

Fruitvale Station - Well, I don't know what true story this film is based on, but I know Dick Wolf is sitting there going "I've been doing this true story stuff for years!  But where's MY Indie Spirit award?"

Fast & Furious 7 - This is getting out of hand... they should've stopped about four or five sequels ago

Taxi for Two - TOTAL rip-off of the scene from Super-Hooper Dyne Lizzies... then again, they both have the same director.

Day For Night - With the lovely Jacqueline Bisset, who still can't help but wonder what the hell she was doing in this crazy-ass movie to begin with

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