Thursday, November 07, 2013

The Spinach Diggers of 1937

Well, they can't ALL be about extraordinary circumstances!  Popeye and Olive have been full-fledged celebrities for a while now, but now it's time to reach beyond their borders.  And just as Garth Brooks became Chris Gaines, and Stephen King became Michele Bachmann... Popeye is now Popito and Olive now Olivita.  You know, to win back the Spanish and or Mexican demographic after the damage caused by Blow Me Down!  
The dancing duo has posters all over town advertising their show times.  The posters are a big hit... but not with everybody.  And by everybody, I mean Bluto.  Bluto has this bad habit of punching poster Popito in the face!  We follow him around a while as he goes from poster to poster.  One in particular stands apart from the rest... is it wrong of me to like that?  Most likely.  Bluto makes his way to Wimpy's Café to wait for Olive in person.  Olive and ... I'm sorry, Popito and Olivita... so confusing... arrive in a town car with their noses held high.  Primadonnas!  As Olivita makes her way to the backstage entrance, Bluto rudely grabs her and asks her out for a date.  Olivita strongly refuses and slams the door on Bluto's face.  Bluto punches another Popito poster... but this time a goat sticks its head out and bleats at Bluto!  Is it just me or does the goat sound a bit like Popeye?

ACT TWO - ...just once for old time's sake.  When Wimpy's the MC, especially at his own giant café, there will be consumption of hamboigahs.  This time, he's got a stack of them under his top hat, with a little stove and everything!  Lol.  Olive comes out and does a song.  I'm reminded of the opening number from Death Becomes Her.  Similar vibe.  Bluto boos and gets a radiator to join him in the hissing.  But Olivita's a pro, and she realizes that it's just Bluto doing the booing... nope, she's still shook up!  Time for the falling part of the rise and fall.  And then, it's time for the big dance number.  Bluto sabotages it with ice cubes from his table.  When Popeye grows wise, Bluto has to step up his game.  Bluto risks his manly image by joining Popito on stage in dance!  But as Stephen Colbert might observe, it's not gay because Bluto's only doing it to punch Popito in the face.  Time for all that practice on the posters to pay off.
Not for long, though.  Even though Bluto wins the fight and Popito's nearly unconscious, Olivita brings on the sacred can of spinach.  The spinach works its magic based on the situation at hand, and soon Popito's dancing up a spinach-induced fury... Russian style!  Well, what's the point in offending only one ethnic group?
As I said earlier, this one's more of a regular day in the life of Popeye (also, no 3D background!), but it tries to generate the usual agenda of excitement.  When Popeye and Olive... sorry, when Popito and Olivita get the best of Bluto, they have him in chains pulling a rowboat as he gets whipped, thereby tilling the soil for the finale of Popeye the Sailor meets Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, soon to come.

-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

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