Thursday, November 20, 2014

Show 'em how it's done, Girl!

Ah, the market for celebrities continues to expand into unknown spaces and places... that's the Dire Straits guy, right?  I'm more of a fan of his brother, George Strait.  Like the IMDb says, he's best known for Showgirls.  As for the whole Cosby mess, well, I suppose I have a morbid fascination with a star's fall from grace, and the legal and nonlegal controls in place, the proverbial dam holding back the river.  Why did it break all of a sudden?  Who did he stop paying dues to?  It's a shame.  He was just on The Colbert Report, for God's sake!  Meanwhile, the gyroscope of Tiger Woods seems to be back on an even keel, at least in terms of public image.  And of course, Roman Polanski.  These things still seemed to be ruled by the Court of Public Opinion.
(Sunday proper) Oh, this kid's still got it, I tells ya.  She's winning the blue ribbon and showing the other kids how, no question about it.  The latest installment of Hunger Games rakes in one weekend as much as Interstellar, and will easily surpass Big Hero 6 and Gone Girl by Wednesday or so.  That's how you know a movie's a big phenom these days when they talk about how many days it takes to reach the various hundreds of millions benchmarks.  But as an amateur statistician and dangerously close to being a professional one, I've finally noticed a different trend here in all this data I've been keeping.  Say you've got a movie like Gone Girl which Rosamund's
hoping people will remember come Oscar time.  When it debuted on October 5th, it debuted with Annabelle and the latest incarnation of Left Behind.  Now, Left Behind lasted two weeks, and Annabelle three, but G.G.'s still going strong after... EIGHT WEEKS!  How's that work?  Well, Fincher's got the magic touch.  Only he could make a film like Panic Room be #1 for two weeks.
Here's another example.  Take the film Fury.  When it debuted, it debuted with The Book of Life and The Best of Me.  Best of Me was gone after two weeks, Life after four.  It's still hanging in there after six weeks, if only barely... okay, okay.  Another extreme example.  When Guardians of the Galaxy came out, it debuted with a film called Get on Up that disappeared after two weeks.  Guardians?  Hung in there for ten weeks, thus assuring at least three more bad indie flicks from director James Gunn.
Here's an example from the indie side of the equation.  When St. Vincent debuted at #6, its newbie competitors were John Wick and Ouija.  Wick disappeared after three weeks, Ouija after four.  Meanwhile, St. Vincent is hanging strong at #7 for five weeks.
Is there a lesson in all of this?  Probably not, but I think the lesson just might be... they ain't all winners, folks!  But my friendly local video store, Scarecrow Video, is threatening to carry them all for all of eternity.  They're going to need to buy a new building, I'm afraid.  How about the library across the street?  The city's probably going to dump that waste of space one of these days.  I mean, how many homeless people playing MMORPG video games can they stand?  Right, library employees?
Oh, I forgot to mention The Theory of Everything.  It's the story of Stephen Hawking, so finally!  The title fits the subject matter, unlike that Clarissa Explains it All crap.  I mean, seriously?  Five seasons?  Will our grandchildren ever forgive us?

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