Thursday, November 13, 2014

An Indie Thanksgiving?

I had that weird dream again where giant man-sized half-man half-bird creatures land in our backyard.  And even though I politely close the door on them, they still manage to peck their way in.  How rude!  One of them seemed to be Eric Idle of Monty Python fame.  I forget what routine he did.  Maybe it was the aftershave lotion bit.  Anyway, if I were Christopher Nolan, I'd take some comfort in the fact that, even though your movie (Interstellar) came in second, it made just about as much money as a movie half its length.  But the month is still young!  The Dumb and Dumber sequel is on its way, and already I have questions.  The Farrellys were on The Tonight Show talking about how great the movie is, and they said that Kathleen Turner plays a character from the first one.  Well, I checked the cast list of the first one, and the 2003 prequel, and that character's name is nowhere to be found!  Can anyone clarify that for me?  Anyone at all?  Or is it even worth it?
Meanwhile, this Taylor Swift 'thin-shaming' story just won't go away!  I'm fascinated by it for some reason.  Apparently, and I haven't read the whole story, but she was thin-shamed either by a Jimmy Fallon character or Rand Paul after he got his head shaved at an ROTC event for charity.  Looks better, incidentally!  But I think I have the solution to all of this: a new song by "Weird Al" Yankovic.  He should change Swift's "Fifteen" to "Fat-Shamed".  Sure, it's a ripoff of his Michael Jackson parody, "Fat", but hey, it's show business!  Originality is just a quaint guideline at this point.  Because when you're fat-shamed, somebody tells you you look fat, you're gonna believe it, and when you're fat-shamed, your head will spin round.  But remember to fall in love before you fall, and there's more to life than not being able to date the football player, but you won't know it when you're fat-shamed!
(Sunday) The results are finally in!  As expected, the carpet bombing campaign for Dumb and Dumber To paid off.  It's #1 with 38.05 million in the bank... unfortunately, it cost $50 million in advertising to get that 38.05 million, but who knows?  By week 3 it should cross that pesky $100 million barrier.  Now, I hate to disagree with the critics over at The Onion, but they did give Rosewater a C.  I guess they're not no board.  They gave Dumb 2 a D+, but they cite the original movie as some kind of modern comedy classic.  Honestly, I don't think it's that great.  Sure, Jim Carrey's all right and all, and God bless the Farrellys, but I thought There's Something About Mary was their best work, not Dumb and Dumber 1.  Oh well.  Shows you what I know... notice how everyone skips over Kingpin?  And probably Shallow Hal?  It's just mean.  It's just mean the way they do that.
Meanwhile, look at these other new entries!  Beyond the Lights comes in at #4, and the critically acclaimed Birdman finally cracks the top 10.  And St. Vincent is still in the top 10.  It's an indie Thanksgiving, I tells ya!  You know, I hate to say I told you so, but... did I call it or what, Reggie?  A-List!  That's about as modest as a blogger can get.

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