Sunday, July 03, 2016


Speechless.  I can't even remember the last time Spielberg had a #1 hit.  Lord knows he doesn't need one, as he seems to be producing a few of them.  Jurassic World, for one.  I guess it was the latest and not-so-greatest installment of Indiana Jones that was #1, if only for old time's sake.  And, also, I coulda sworn for sure that Roland Emmerich's sequel to Independence Day would rise to the #1 spot... you know, because Independence Day's tomorrow and all that.  Not the case at all!
Well, Pixar's latest remains at #1, no surprise there... but Tarzan?  Really?  It's just one of those perennial roles, apparently.  And, of course, there's a short list of actors who can probably add to their C.V./résumé that they were considered for the role.  Like those who were considered for James Bond.  You know, Humanity's Finest.  The Best and The Brightest, the Bold and the Beautiful and what not... I guess young and restless goes without saying.  In this case, Stellan Skarsgard's kid.  And why shouldn't he be, damn it?  Handsome, and he's got an accent... I grow weary of it all.
Meanwhile, in horror movie news, coming in at #3 is the latest installment of The Purge, a series of movies based on the premise that, on one day out of the year, people are allowed to commit any crime and not be charged for it.  Particularly and especially murder.... you know what?  At least O.J. took his lumps and went through a trial!  For me, it's not that it doesn't speak well of our culture that a movie like that is #3 on the 4th of July weekend... it's that The Onion reviewer gives it a B-.  Not to mention the logistical nightmare for the police.  Do they still get to do the forensics and other investigations involved at a Purge-related crime scene anyway?  And what about crimes that happen the next day, but that get cleverly disguised as a Purge Day crime?  Apparently, the premise is clearly more seductive than, say, The Human Centipede.  Maybe MSNBC can do a breakdown of how many Trump supporters attended this movie... you know, to take good notes.  I guess we have our new Saw series!  May they squeeze seven or eight movies out of the whole thing, and get themselves a nice shrink-wrapped DVD/Blu-Ray package for the Costco market.
At #4, the marriage of Roald Dahl and Steven Spielberg is complete with The BFG which is apparently the book's actual title.  No, really!  One of my roommates just got a copy of Dahl's The Witches, and right there at the top of the list of his books was "The BFG."  Go figure.  Tim Burton and Danny DeVito have tinkered with Dahl's stuff, but I think it was too mean-spirited for Spielberg.  I'd be surprised if Matilda even got to Spielberg's desk, for one.  But when I first saw the BFG trailer, I couldn't help but think of Casper.  Similar situation: one good ghost, and three bastards.  Here, one good giant, a handful of bastard giants.  You just gotta have both the yin and the yang for your big time multi-million dollar multi-plex movie, as David Letterman might say.
In dead director news, Michael Cimino passed away.  I can imagine how Mickey Rourke feels about that, but I just don't wanna hear it.  I don't.

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