Saturday, May 13, 2006

Quickie Reviews

What with as fast as things move these days, who has time to watch a whole movie anymore? Let alone read a whole movie review. So that's why I'm going to make things simple with Quickie Reviews. But what to review? Well, I'll start with things I've seen that are on the IMDb's Top 250:

Harold and Maude: It's Yusuf Islam-rific! I mean, Cat Stevens-tastic.
All the President's Men: Oh, I just hate these irrelevant period pieces!
Almost Famous: Good!
The Lost Weekend: Oh, don't be ridic'!
Heat: Modern day epic.
In the Heat of the Night: An epic of its time. Well, that, and this other one...
Sling Blade: Most folks call it that, mm hmm...
Monsters, Inc.: Well, the animation's rigorous, you gotta give 'em that.
The Terminator: Better stick with T2 instead...
Ed Wood: I think this one's in for the long haul! Too bad about Jeffrey Jones, though...
12 Monkeys: Seriously? Of all the Gilliam films, this one seems a little high up on the list!
Magnolia: Never did see the whole thing...
Shrek: Maybe someday they'll release the special version with Farley's voice... maybe not. Too expensive.
The Grapes of Wrath: Wait a couple more years, it'll seem timely again.
A Christmas Story: From the director of Porky's and Rhinestone (Cowboy): BUMPUSES!!!!
The Day the Earth Stood Still: Are there more aliens like you back home?
Finding Neverland: Oops, I thought it was Finding Nemo...
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid: This is one of those films that make a good Rorschach test, or an intelligence test, for deciding who you should hang with in your life... That, and Booty Call.
Once Upon A Time In America: Didn't do much for me. But, didn't Danny Aiello look so young?
Blade Runner: And I saw the director's cut back in 92! Now I'm thinking: I remembered it better, didn't seem as good seeing it recently. Also, the print was wavering a bit for a DVD. NOT GOOD!!!!!
Kill Bill 1 or KB2: Oh, I can't decide which is worse... Better! I mean, better.
Cool Hand Luke: Time for a night in the box.
L. A. Confidential: Oh dear, it's dropping in the polls.
Se7en: The film that started it all... and I mean, the total breakdown of words and letters and numbers in movie titles as we know it! I mean, M1ke and the Mechanic5? Thir13en Ghosts... Damn! They're slipping from my mind! Oh yeah, Slevin, too. I can't even type in that one!
North by Northwest: The best thing to happen to ethanol since ... Arizona Dream!
12 Angry Men... And what have you bastards done for Sidney lately? (sobbing...)
The Fellowship of the Ring: Only 13th? I think it's better than that.
Memento: Seriously? Of all the Nolan films, this one seems a little high up on the list!
Back to the Future: For my money, the best damn time travel story, period.
Duck Soup: A classic. If only the title made some sense...
Schindler's List: Not something you want to see too often...
Casablanca: Here's looking at you, kid.
The Shawshank Redemption: I don't know... Too slick for me.
and finally...
Godfather 1 and 2: Works for me.
Meanwhile, in more recent news...
The Break-Up: Well, Jennifer's bound to have a hit sometime, right? And Vince's bound to get out of rehab sometime, right?
Oh yeah, Zwigoff's got a new movie, too. Hurrah for the underdog!
Okay, that's enough damage for tonight. :)

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