Monday, June 26, 2006

Report from the Road

Ah, the power of technology! This will be my first remote blog-cast. I have yet to see if it actually works. Plus, the data pipeline out here's a little thinner so it'll take me even longer to get this Box Office NIE right. Man, too depressing of news. Bush calling something disgraceful, what a laugh. And are we finally going to lose Federalsburg, MD? Who will care? Barry Levinson?
Anyway, on to the good news that no one's reporting, and that's this week's Box Office! Let's just start from the tippety-top this time with Click! And boy, did it click with audiences opening weekend, no surprise. While not doing as well as Big Daddy, 1999 dollars, it debuted strong at 40 million. On the down side this makes it only 7th cumulative-wise. Now if only there was a remote that could fast forward you to where the movie's made 200 million, or if you could forward past having to do commentary on the Special-edition DVD with Rob Schneider and company...
Meanwhile at #2 it's Pixar's Cars with only 22 1/2 million, but making it 3rd overall in this horse race. Guess it's surviving the critical bashing it's been getting after all. And Pixar and the Mouse have mended fences, too! Yes, everything's coming up roses for Senator Lasse(t)ter and his group of cyber-cronies. But, while even Pixar's not powerful enough to resurrect Ernest (Pink Lady and Jeff forever!) they have found a fairly suitable replacement, although he's still in talks for Toy Story 3. French Stewart is still slated to play the lead in the direct-to-video release Health Inspector 2...
Nacho Libre is still holding strong at #3, and you know what that means! Who knows how many more films we'll be seeing from those Hess-ian mercenaries. Napoleon Dynamite Goes to Hollywood? Or how about that time they crossed over into Montana on a sidecar? Man, did they get a paddlin' for that! Personally, I'm getting a little tired of seeing Jack Black's nipples while I'm going for a stroll in the mall. I don't want to have to think in there!

...and then, like a bolt of Black Lightning from out the blue, it's the rare Non-Dame Madea FUBU Cinema entry! This time, it's called Waist Deep, and no, it's not about Hurricane Katrina's aftermath, thankfully. We'll tolerate none of that New-Orleans-ploitation cinema, thank you very much! I'm talking to you, Spike! He's scrapped plans to do his Get on the Bus sequel about Katrina, called Get on the Boat. (paid Bruce Vilanch for that one, heh heh...) But back to the instant case at hand. Waist Deep blew in like a Category 4 hurricane, sucking in 9.45 million in its debut week, and no, a percentage of the profits are not going to Hurricane Katrina victims. Business is business. Just ask Federalsburg, MD. Besides, in about five years we'll all be living in houseboats anyway.
Rounding out the Top 5 it's ... okay, a big mouthful. I gotta psyche myself up here: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. It'll revive the Soap Opera cinema movement as we know it! Finally the perfect date movie. All that sentimental crap for the chicks, and cars for the dudes. You know, Pixar could learn a lot from this flick.

Gotta cut this short, folks, although this may be the last! :(

No comments: