Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Last Day...

And how sweet it is. But the Box Office never sleeps. And it's past my bedtime as well! Shame on me. Speaking of which, Bedtime Stories and all of last week's entries may have finally been purged from the rolls of the top 10, but Sandler's presence is still felt with... ugh. A movie named Paul Blart: Mall Cop. And congrats to Nick Bakay co-screenwriter, who wanted to call the movie Squirt Lurtzema: Mall Cop... oh yeah! Someone else remembers those sidekick days! And I may be the only one or two left. Careful what you Google, kids, because you'll Google everything and everyone they've Google'd as well.
At #2 it's Gran Torino... which reminds me. Note to self: go to Quizno's. I dunno. The more I see him get mad in the commercials, the more I know there's no way he's getting that acting Oscar this year. Maybe for the sequel next year. Mickey Rourke's got a lock on the statuette this year. In a headlock, if you will! But really, we all know it's for Johnny Handsome.
At #3, it's My Bloody Valentine 3-D. Oh, puh-leeze. Actually, it did quite well for third place! 21.9 million in the bank. Someone should say America, you've got too much time and disposable income on your hands.
At #4, it's Notorious, or from what I gather, it's the kind of role Don Cheadle USED to play in the good ol' days. And at #5, it's the kind of role he gets now, in Hotel (Rwanda) for Dogs. Stole that one from Spike Feresten, heh heh! But this one's all me: I think Cheadle's become a real Section Eight.
As for the rest, oh it's far too depressing to contemplate, so I'll make it quick. The Unborn? No, no. People want the R-rated horror pic, not the PG-13. As for Defiance, well, Blood Diamond didn't make a whole lot of money either, did it, Zwick? Tough break, ol' dude. Next time Moskovitz drops that line about making the same old picture, slap him in the face for me, will ya? Take an even bigger risk next time. Combine the movie going public's two favorite genres: World War II / Nazis, and the go-go 70s. Like Marathon Man did! In fact, why not just remake Marathon Man? Damn, it's late. Peace out.

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