Sunday, March 22, 2009

Knowing, Coraline

Sorry. Call me a sentimental old fluff if you must, but I just wanted to honor visually side-by-side, the #1 movie this week, with the #10 movie this week as it slips off the charts for what very well may be the last time. At least, I don't think Push is shoving back any time soon. Or Street Fighter 2009! What the hell just happened to SF09? I think Neal McDonough might have been miscast, but that's just me.
But let's get back to the instant case. No big surprise, Knowing is #1 this week. But I'm sure Nicolas Cage is happy about it. Man, that dude's got six movies on his plate. Take a break, dude! I'm sorry, I believe I mis-spelled it. It should be spelled Kn0w1ng, right? That's gotta be some hip person's Facebook password, I know it. I think they should let people have whatever username they want, but it's the password they have to pick over and over again. Can't we live in that crazy upsidedown world for at least one day?
Meanwhile, Sarah Marshall 2 is at #2. I guess people just don't have a sense of humor anymore. Why couldn't this be #1? And speaking of sense of humor, The International 2 is at #3. Well, it's doing better than The International did, anyway.
At #4, The Rock's Witch Mountain movie drops sharply from #1 last week. Well, that's what happens when you body slam the Top 10: there's a sharp push-back. Newton's Third Law, baby. At #5, Watchmen continues to NOT POST Dark Knight-esque numbers. Is it the film's length? Is it the R rating? Hey, Dark Knight should've been rated R, IMHO. Guess Watchmen should've ventured into NC-17 territory to make some real money. Speaking of which, that new Wolverine movie's coming out soon, and they say it's not yet been rated. Shyeah, like they're going to release it with an NC-17. Why do they tease us in this manner?
As for the rest of you dregs, #6 is The Last House on the Left. Don't care. At #7 is Taken, and the champagne has stopped flowing at Luc Besson's house. Slumdog Millionaire is still India's Titanic, even at #8; with $137 million in the bank, maybe the crew can get paid now too! At #9 is Tyler Perry's Latest. An IMDb reviewer asked, "Why rated so low?" It currently enjoys a 2.8 out of 10 rating. Not quite IMDb Bottom 100 bad, but still bad. And if you can't figure out why, you'll never know.
And finally, C0ral1ne at #10. And so I bid you farewell, even though I'm still smarting from a bad case of Monkeybone, Selick! Coraline has since dropped out of the IMDb top 250, but hey. Can't win 'em all. At least Nightmare before Xmas is still up there, right? And re-released in Imax, no less! As for you, Gaiman, well, don't worry, you're still the hottest Hollywood screenwriter since T.C. Boyle or Roddy Doyle or Nick Hornby. And just wait 'til your career gets some traction!

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