Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Close enough...

And happy Earth Day to everyone around the Earth! Yeah, but not everyone's happy... right, Russ Steele? Oh, he's out there, folks. And he's pissed. Oh, but enough about him. Let's quickly dissect this whole box office week. I gotta do the dishes tonight.
As expected, Zac Efron is once again king of the box office with his latest cinematic installment called 17 Again. But there's enough success to go around for all: how does The Whole Eleven Yards sound, Bing? You know, kids are so full of angst these days, it'll probably be hard to tell when the two have actually switched bodies. I want to see the adult really get into it when he's a young kid again, and organize some kind of revolt amongst our youth... damn! Just blew my screenwriting career. In close second, boy of play Russell Crowe's latest, State of Play, makes about nine million short of first place. I'll bet he's kicking himself now for passing on 17 Again. In third, Hannibal... I mean, Hannah Montana rocks the box office casbah, while old mandarins of the box office MvA and FF4 round out fourth and fifth place.
A couple debuts in the lower half this week. Let me check my spreadsheet... Oh, right. Observe and Report just SEEMS like a debut. No, there was only one film more manly than that this week, and it's Crank 2: Electric Boogaloo. One more and you've got the perfect Costco gift pak: Transporter 1, 2 & 3 and the Crank series! You gotta hand it to Handsome Rob, cuz he's a martial arts expert now and if you dis him, he'll hand it to you! Apparently, The Expendables will round out the Statham / Jet Li trilogy. Don't screw it up, Stallone!

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