Sunday, April 05, 2009

The decade begins again...

How so, you may ask? Well, in 2001, a little movie called The Fast and The Furious appeared, and it raced into people's hearts and minds. And Vin Diesel was the top box office draw for a while, as people went to gas up their cinema-charged hearts on things like XXX and Knockaround Guys.
Oh, I've got more!... actually, that's all I got. But for my image this week, instead of finding a new one of the perenially bald Vin... how Jim Carrey got that new gig as Curly is beyond me... I happened upon something far more interesting, even though it features neither Vin nor hunky co-star Paul Walker. No, it's a make-out chart of Hollywood. Well, what can I say? I'm easily surprised. And just when I thought I've seen everything, here's a Vin diagram.. sorry, a Venn diagram of... or, what would you call it? A bubble chart? With some type of link, connecting people who have ever locked lips in Hollywood. If they had Fred Armisen on the chart, it would get quite thrown off indeed, because he'd be connected to Will Forte, Bill Hader and Andy Samberg, and we can't have that, can we? Which reminds me: I don't remember exactly where I got this chart, and if I were making it up I probably would've done everyone a favor and just omitted Tom Green altogether. I don't think even the free-spirited Drew would mind that.
Anyway, a winning franchise carries on: (The) Fast and (the) Furious (part 4) vacuums up way WAY too much money at the box office this weekend. Guess some things ARE worth waiting for! And as for director Justin Lin, well, it's a long way from Better Luck Tomorrow, but those kinds of things tend not to pay the bills, as you've no doubt found out. You and John Singleton. In 2nd place, MvA; no surprise there, but alas, it ain't breaking any speed records of note yet. I guess The Dark Knight is still fastest to 200 million... for now. Wait a couple years until inflation goes up a little more. The Haunting in Connecticut is at #3, surpassing EVERYONE's expectations, and I bet Hartnett's kicking himself now! Knowing and I Love You, Man round out the top 5, and I bet ILYM hates being in Knowing's shadow all this time, just like Bob hates being the Omega Weinstein to Harvey's Alpha all the time.
At #6, it's Adventureland, and I gotta say a big OUCH! for Greg Mottola. Sorry, pal, but they can't all be Superbad. Maybe you needed a flashier ad campaign. Superbad had the old Columbia logo. Why didn't you do something like that again? Too predictable? Too soon? I guess people saw the poster, looked for Judd Apatow's name and said to themselves, well, if Apatow's name ain't in the producer list, it must be kinda G.A.Y., so who needs that? Well, you know how fickle and sexist American audiences are, right?
As for the rest, Duplicity, Witch Mountain... 12 Rounds, oh please. Another triumph for WWE Films. Maybe they can collaborate with Big Idea while they're at it. And finally, from the producers of Little Miss Sunshine comes Sunshine Cleaning, but somehow I'm thinking this isn't going to be the darling of the lower half of the box office like Little Miss Sunshine was for lo those many weeks in 2006. But, maybe they're advertising on Nickelodeon or some other high profile place I'm not aware of. They haven't cornered the Gmail Flash ad market, that much I know. Not like Katiefun789; she must've hooked up with some lucky bastid by now! Better get back to my homework...

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