Once again, I failed. But the two main take home messages are: 1) I let my personal bias get in the way of the scoring, and 2) from now on, WE TIVO the Oscars! That's right. It took us a year to do it, but that's our credo from now on. Not that we didn't like Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, but most of the stuff we shoulda fast forwarded through. Like the tributes to the best actor and actress. They changed it slightly this year from having previous Oscar winners kiss their ass to having a co-star kiss their ass, preferably a fellow Oscar winner or nominee. Nice try, Colin Farrell. Boy! This is how insidious these country western influences are getting. Even sex tape pretty boy Colin Farrell's getting in on the ground floor of it! I mean, I'm glad Jeff Bridges won and all, but really, it's the Oscar he shoulda gotten for The Big Lebowski, am I right? As for not changing my vote from an Avatar sweep to The Hurt Locker, well, what can I say? Cameron's now where Spielberg was in the 80s. It's the price you sometimes pay: you get the blockbusters, but not the Oscar gold. You can either have the respect of the moviegoing public, or the Oscar voting block. Not both. Unlike with Titanic, but I digress. I felt bad for the one black dude whose speech got interrupted. Guess he'll just have to win again for something else.
But Kathryn Bigelow's not the only lucky girl of that magical evening last week. Sandra Bullock won for most profitable movie with a Best Actress nominee in it. I couldn't think to myself, oh, George Clooney. Can't you do anything right? Seriously, though, the man got dissed this year. No nomination for The Men who Stare at Goats? Jealousy, plain and simple. I loved that moment between him and Alec Baldwin. I guess they shoulda hammered the message home; say, if Johnny Depp were also in the audience. Coulda done the same thing! Or Robert Pattinson... but I guess he's too young. I got caught up in the fervor and thought for a second that The Princess and the Frog would win Best Animated Feature, but let's face it. That's just how hated Disney is. Pixar tried to get away once, but they made their deal with the devil lo those many years ago. PDI Dreamworks rode that wave of goodwill with Shrek but haven't pandered to the Oscar voting bloc since. Good on you, guys, until you win again. Guess that's all I got. Too late to keep it short and sweet?
Final score: 96 out of 121