Friday, March 05, 2010

Short Reviews - February 2010

Richard Gere. Primal Fear. Walter Hill's Wild Bill... that's all I can think of.
My God! Tyler Perry's waiting til April to release his latest bomb? Say it isn't so!!! Release it THIS weekend! Oscar weekend. Indict Hollywood for their lack of Tyler Perry nominations...

Sorry, another busy month, folks. No time for movies. Well, limited time.

Crazy Heart - Now The Dude's The Stranger!

From a Buick 8 - Wait a minute! This is a Stephen King novel... how come Frank Darabont's not involved???!!!!

The Road - Basically, what America would look like if gas went up to $5 a gallon.

Percy Jackson and the Whatevers... Finally! Chris Columbus got through his indie film phase, grew up again, and is back in BlockbusterVille. A more apt title would've been 'Of Gods and Nerds.' Just throwing it out there.

Cop Out - Well, it took 16 years, but Kevin Smith finally went Hollywood!

The Losers - Remake of Mystery Men

Labor Pains - Remake of Second Thoughts

Manhattan - Why, Ernest Hemingway ought to punch that guy in the mouth!

The Misadventures of Buster Keaton - Well, they didn't claim to be INTERESTING misadventures!

Hat Check Honey (1944) - Oh, gotta like that title. I think that was an Irving Cohen song!

Labor Pains - I guess it goes without saying that I saw this for rent at Safeway and couldn't help but have the thought reinforced: oh, Lindsay, how far you've fallen. Even Tina Fey can't save you from yourself.

The Beach (2000) - We adapt. And move on..... and not watch the same movies over and over and over and over...

Love Simple - That title sounds familiar...

Love Actually - meh

Death Wish II - Music by Jimmy Page. Rock 'n Roll!!!

Green Zone - Bourne 3.5 with an environmental message?

She's Out Of My League - 2010's shaping up to be a great rom-com year. But where's Aniston's entry?

The Bounty Hunter - Ah! There it is!

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) - Photographed by Jeff Cutter. Somehow that makes sense.

Remember Me - Perfect title. A fine edict for the ladies.

Jacob Two Two Meets the Hooded Fang - So does Richler get credit for the Jacob Two-Two animated series?

Curious George 2 - It's good... just not theater release good.

Miss March - Here's a handy tip... I guess for the ladies. Any movie that features a male character who utters the line "(name)! (month, year)'s Centerfold of the Month! How are you?" is NOT a good movie. BASEketball included. I guess those are the only two.

Watchmen - Just watched a little of this on HBO. Boy, what a rancid piece of sh... oe leather that is. Digital gushing blood and all. All the girls are nymphos and all the boys are cases of roid rage, nerds and jocks alike. What an idealized world. Not that Nixon as President for Life isn't a bad idea. He is awfully iconic. Americans have gotten used to worse. Of course, it wasn't on an HBO HD channel. Maybe I just need the Blu-Ray of it to change my perspective! (hint, hint)

Boys and Girls (2000) - Sex changes everything.

Trans America - Sex change's everything.

Hot Tub Time Machine - Was I hallucinating, or did I see John Cusack in a trailer for a movie called Hot Tub Time Machine? That was a mirage, right? John Cusack's not... ACTUALLY...

Repo Men - They took some stem cells from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life and grew this movie. And I think a couple of you sickos out there know what I'm talkin' about! Hoh, yeah...

Repo Chick - Sequel to Repo Man. The actual sequel, that is, made by the same director. Good release timing, incidentally. Not as much of a market for that Straight to Hell sequel, I guess.

And now, Conan O'Brien presents Repo Baby. Clutch Cargo time again!

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