Sunday, November 07, 2010

Short Reviews - October 2010

Damn. I was digitizing an old Premiere magazine from, like, 12 years ago, and it had this catchy article about the top 300 stars of today that'll last forever... something like that. And so, let's go through the list.

Ewan MacGregor: check.
Kate Winslet: check.
Paul Thomas Anderson: check.
Freddie Prinze Jr.: ouch.
brandy norwood... who?
norman reedus... who?
natalie portman: check.
Adrien brody: check.
Aaron Eckhart: check.
Will Smith: And how!
Charlize Theron: check.
Andrew Niccol: who?
Jennifer Lopez: oh, please. What was that piece of crap she was in this year? Bound for Glory? When in Rome?... The Back-Up Plan! That's it!
Wes Anderson: yeah
Sarah Polley: oh, don't be so mean to Josephine!
Edward Norton: check.
Youki Kudoh: who?
Leo DiCaprio: check.
Isaiah Washington:... oh, wait, that's just the next article. Never mind.

Burlesque - It is beautiful, no matter what the critics say. Bad reviews can't bring it down, oh no...

Life as We Know It - Yeah, we already know about how awful changing a diaper can be!!

Buried - Ryan Reynolds buried alive. What's not to like?

Secretariat - Will Success Spoil Randall Wallace?

It's Kind of a Funny Story - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia?

Oliver Stone's Wild Palms - Good thing I was scanning my old 1993 Variety magazine. Otherwise, I never would've heard of it!

Zoolander 2? - Oh yeah, it needs a question mark.

Police Academy: Mission To Moscow - Interesting cast, actually. Claire Forlani? Ken Davitian? (Borat) ... as Curly might say, I STILL say it's him!

Red Dragon - Just reading my Universal DVD Showcase email newsletter. Universal's buying up MGM too? Kewl. Why not?

The Dark Knight Rises - It WON'T be shot in 3D, and the Riddler WON'T be in it, according to director Chris Nolan... in another surprise announcement, Nolan has just been replaced as director by... let's say, Marc Webb or that bastard Walt Becker.

Love & Other Drugs - Your love, your love, your love... is my drug

When In Rome - Saw about the first two minutes of it. Everybody should have a trident of fawning nerds to look after you at all times! Well, it might get annoying after a while, to be sure.

Monsters - I love you Gareth Edwards!

Monsters, Inc. - I love you Mike Lebowski!

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