Short Reviews - February 2011

Hey Gareth Edwards! I do computer animation too! Look, I cut this image apart and pasted it back together just for you... wait! This is you, isn't it? It's not on your resumé. Aw dang it. There's nothing left to believe in anymore.
In other news... oh, Nicolas Cage and Liam Neeson... isn't it long past time you two aging Alpha Males put aside your differences and made one of your bombs TOGETHER? ... DAMN YOU, IMDB SEARCH! Must eliminate all these useless TV shows from your search! I KNOW they've both been on Leno and Entertainment Tonight at some point in their careers... Meanwhile, Charlie Sheen's sitcom got cancelled... just for the season. Whew! That was close. I mean, CBS is dumb, but not crazy. They'll get James Garner to fill in for him for the duration. Or maybe Jon Cryer will get Andrew McCarthy to fill in, finally getting revenge for that whole Pretty in Pink thing.
Meanwhile, the Jennifer Aniston adoption rumours aren't true. Well, thank God! Her loyal fan base wouldn't accept that... would they?

Just Go With It - Just give it up...

Hook - An embarrassment of riches

"The Larry Sanders Show" - A riches of embarrassment?

The Beaver - Not supplicate enough, Mel.

Hall Pass - Seriously? Oh, Owen Wilson. You can pull off roles like this forever.

Cedar Rapids - DAMN YOU, DAILY SHOW!!!

Just Go With It - Adam Sandler presents... CLEAVAGE!!!

Drive Angry - (Groundhog Day) don't drive angry!

Rock-A-Doodle - http://www.imdb.com/video/hulu/vi1572706329/ - Wow! A whole movie for free on the internet... sorry, I'm, uh, ... busy.

Water for Elephants - I guess chocolate for elephants might get a little pricey.

Season of the Witch - Must be!

Unknown - Who am I?... these days, who cares?

A Chorus of Disapproval - Hopkins. Irons. Together for the only time.

Unknown - I'm sorry, that deserves a better observation than the last one. In Unknown, Liam Neeson doesn't know who he is. He's about THIS close to retiring again!

Barbara Babcock in Chicago Hope - KRONK!!!!!

The Mothman Prophecies - Watch yer step, Margie!

The Boy With Green Hair - First Bieber's hair goes missing, now this!

Blank Check - With the recent capture of Roman Polanski, Duffy still goes unprosecuted for molesting Brian Bonsall. Where's the justice?

Hard Candy - When you get right down to it, isn't every boy-girl relationship like this?

Lakeview Terrace - A little better.

Watchmen - Greatest sex scene metaphor of all time... I guess. WAY better than Austin Powers!

Take Me Home Tonight - I don't wanna let you go til you see the light... Ah, the ol' breaking the guitar gag. Just like Animal House, only this time the guy kicks it while the guy's still holding the guitar. We've been upgraded!

Paul - A new genre indeed: the alien/bawdy road movie pic! I think Seth McFarlane should sue; they obviously ripped off American Dad.

Just Go With It - Hey Adam! Are you going to buy Aniston a car?

Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys - Is it? Is it really complete, Dave? Is it sound AND complete, as we used to say in math logic class? Or is it just getting whisked away into the Library of Congress as is, without some kind of rigorous ANSI-approved quality testing?