Monday, March 04, 2013
Short Reviews - February 2013
Argo - With Alan Arkin as Lester Siegel
Arigo - With Alan Arkin as Hester Regal? This one's a joke, right?
Off Beat - Has this been banned from television forever or what?
Legends of the Fall - Oh, you picky viewers complaining about plot holes and bad writing. It's young Brad Pitt in HD! It's a bunch of beautiful people who live far from the city! Where the grass is green and the clouds are pretty! Oscar winner for Cinematography 1994! What more do you ungrateful bastards want?
Three Mississippi - If there was ever a time to use the Sherman Anti-Trust Act, it's now, to bust up this merger between Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell. Also, I guess it's pointless by now to point out that things are remakes or homages, but I suppose 1986's The Best of Times could use a face lift.
The Heat - Sandra Bullock's riding Melissa McCarthy's coattails now! So sad..........
Star Wars, Episode 7: Retiring with Dignity - Apparently, the original Star Wars Cast... well, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill, anyway... will reunite for the next trilogy, the first of which will be directed by J. J. Abrams. Abrams was quoted in Variety as saying "Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to be doing a Star Wars movie, but why do I have to work with actors who are such old uggos? Yecch!"
I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With - I liked it the first time... when it was Humble Pie!!!... never mind, it beat Humble Pie by a year.
Tyler Perry's Temptation - There goes Hollywood again, peddling flesh as usual. What a cesspool. I wish Lex Luthor would nuke that whole stinking place and send it into the ocean, making fresh real estate along the San Andreas Fault.