Sunday, June 29, 2014

Ecoterrorism by Calvin Klein

SPOILERS AHEAD.  What's with Scott Free these days, anyway?  First, The A-Team movie, now this.  I guess they're making money, which is the main thing, of course.
Anyways, you can guess where this is going.  While I admire the spirit of The East and what not, there's just something nagging at me about the execution of it.  The plot: SPOILER ALERT... it's like a couple other movies, probably... Fight Club, Arlington Road, what have you.  Anyway, there's a group of eco-terrorist kids targeting certain companies that are polluting the earth.  As usual, it's not quite all that it seems to be.  Like John Grisham's Runaway Jury, the kids are doing it for personal reasons as well.  Also, they're only attacking corporations where they actually know somebody.  Otherwise, I suppose it's a little tricky to get into their private parties.
The first attack: a pharmaceutical company, because the doctor of the eco-terrorist group was affected by a drug made by the company.  I'd use the name of the company, but for two reasons: 1) I can't remember, and 2) meh.  And so, they spike the champagne with the drug and, unlike Erin Brockovich, nobody's spitting it back out.  One of the big chiefs, played by Julia Ormond, goes on TV after the prank goes public and says she's okay.  A little bit later, after the drug's taken hold, she goes on TV again, from a hospital bed, sans makeup, talking about how horrible she feels about the whole thing.  As much as we'd all like to see this happen more often, I don't believe she would go on TV like that.  I think her stake in the company's still too great... but that's just me.  The only time I can think of something like that happening was when Lee Atwater went public with his cancer treatments.  Now you're probably thinking, but Movie Hooligan!  The Republican Party's not a corporation... well, aren't they?
And on and on it goes.  Again, I wanted to like the movie, but after a while the photogenic-ness of the eco-terrorist group sorta got to me.  Even the token fat chick could be the next Emme!  The stakes are too high these days, I guess.  We can't risk seeing any uggo's on the silver screen.  Everyone's a Guess model, especially the infiltrator of the group played by relative newcomer Brit Marling.  She's not quite up there with Jennifer Lawrence, but as in The Hunger Games part one, we get loving closeup after loving closeup of Brit's face.  She seemed kinda bored throughout the movie to me.  Poor thing.  And to think, she was this close to crashing the economy at Goldman Sachs.  Apparently too many people told her to go into modeling and then acting along the way.  It's only a matter of time before she plays the lead in the Linda McCartney story.  Let's just get it over with already.
Also, her character is forced to choose between her boring husband (John Ritter's kid), and the exciting ringleader of the group played by Stellan Skarsgard's kid.  Oh, she so chooses the latter.  Those baby blues, that face, that rockstar hair.  I must not have been enjoying myself, because I guessed what the third and last "jam" was going to be.  They call their eco-terrorist strikes "jams," by the way.  And like any good movie, these things come in threes.
Ultimately, I think what the movie's trying to say is this... in this economy, competition for whatever jobs are left is tight.  Very very tight.  So whether you're trying to get a legitimate job, say as an undercover cop, or a non-legitimate job with the hot young eco-terrorist group on the black market... ya better be photogenic!  Death to all Uggos forever... myself included.

-so sayeth The Movie Hooligan

1 comment:

The Movie Hooligan said...

Disclaimer: The Movie Hooligan is not responsible for the content of any links posted by third party advertisers. Click on link at your own risk.