Another Scorch and Soda, Please

Once again, I'm forced to bemoan my isolated position in life.  Being out of the mainstream is no fun at all, not like it used to be.  But someday in the distant future, my Overlords will be watching TV and they'll say "Hey!  You like mazes, right?  Watch this!"  So, at least the surprise won't be ruined for me, even though it is a worldwide phenomenon.  As the first installment was #1 last year for one week, so too is the 2nd installment of Tic Tac Toe: X v. O a box office sensation... I'm sorry, I mean (The) Maze Runner series.  Sure, it's no Percy Jackson, but there's delights to be had for all ages.  For those who thought "Breaking Bad" ended too soon, what's his name has a role in it... Gus Fring!  That's it.  And star of stage and screen Patricia Clarkson is in it, too!  Barry Pepper is apparently to the Maze Runner series as Woody Harrelson is to The Hunger Games.  Good for both of them!
At #2, it's digitally blue-eyed Johnny Depp in Black Mass.  Oh, he's Malkovich-ing the sh... oe leather out of that role.  He's had plenty of flops in between Pirates of the Caribbean installments, but this ain't one of 'em, baby!  He expected a hit and he got it.  But he had to do horrible, horrible things to get that hit... kissing Jimmy Kimmel, for one.  Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!  "Man Show" indeed!
At #5 it's Everest.  I hate to put this theory forward, but the so-called "Colbert Bump" seems to be on the decline, despite his new CBS show.  Maybe it takes a while to kick in.  Then again, Josh Brolin was also pushing Sicario in his latest... wait a minute!  Oh, he was on Kimmel.  Never mind.  I guess that was the problem.  It would of... have done better were he on Colbert.  No, Emily Blunt was on Colbert pushing Sicario.  Oh, that's definitely going to be #1, no thanks to Brolin.  Also, he was drunk when he was on Kimmel, so that has a cooling effect on box office returns.  Still, son's outdoing father, no question!
There was one last debut this week, something called Captivity... I mean, Captive.  Debuting at #10... ouch.  So, that's two major bombs for Kate Mara, star of the Netflix series "House of Cards."  She's the alpha Mara sister, but she's not feeling the love!  How unfair is that?  Pretty damn unfair, she'll tell you.  But unlike the rivalry between Meg and Jennifer Tilly, the Mara sisters keep up their struggle.  Rooney's still got the other two Lisabeth Salander films to do.  Kate needs something like that to look forward to.